Labor and delivery:
The day started at
6:30ish. I got Ari off to school. We’d walked down to the sidewalk
to wait for Glissa, Ari’s best friend. I was back in bed by 6:38. I
don’t think I put anything on my kindle to listen to like I usually
do. I dosed off but woke up at 7:30 and every hour after that until
about 10. Lindsey text me asking if I wanted to go to a Baby Bottom
dollar sale at the Oregon Fair grounds, (I think that’s what it was
called) Here are the texts:
Lindsey Oct 4,
6:34am: “I woke up with a weird feeling that you are in labor. How
are you?”
Me: Oct 4, 6:36:
“Not in labor ;) still normal lol going back to sleep (I typed
sleel) , Ari just left with her friend.”
Lindsey Oct 4,
6:37am: “Ok lol love you rest well seester”
Me: 6:38am: “Loveee
you! I’ll text you when im do. I won’t leave you in the dark…
Unless its the middle of the night then I wont wanna wake you! :) “
Lindsey: 6:39am:
“Wake me!”
Me: 6:39am: “Lol
ok!”
Lindsey Oct 4
10:59am “Want to go to the baby bottom sale in Salem at the
fairgrounds?”
Me: Oct 4, 11:09am:
“I’m gunna skip it :) I have a headache… Either need a nap or a
pop lol… I thinkg today might be it… I just downloaded a timer
thing just in case. I’m getting that annoyed irritated feeling you
know when ur uncomfortable? Lol”
Lindsey 11:10am:
“Yeah do you want me to bring you a soda or anything?”
Me: 11:11am: “I
have a case of pop in the fridge, thanks tho ;-) “
Lindsey 11:12am: “I
can come over and clean and you can nap and maybe go for a walk
after.”
Me: 11:15am: “Ur
funny! Yesterday I vacuumed, shampooed the carpet did laundry, we
walked to the store, cleaned off the back porch, replanted plants.
Maybe that did it ;) “
Lindsey: 11:16am:
“Do you have an appt today?”
Me: 11:19am: “Yeah
at 2:40. Moms gunna drop me off before she heads to work. (my phone
is gunna die soon so I need to put it on the charger in the kitchen,
so I won’t be respond as fast) I’ll keep you posted tho!”
Lindsey: 11:21am:
“Ok get some rest and eat something cuz you never know lol”
Lindsey: 2:39: “Do
you want someone to be with you at you appt.?
Me: 2:51pm: “I’m
just got finished :) In labor, 5cm.. I’m gunna walk over to the
hospital I think :) “
Me: 2:51pm: “Unless
you wanna drive me the 40 feet over? Lol”
Lindsey: 2:54pm “I
be there in two”
I sat down outside
the doctor’s office, on the curb in the last parking space for a
couple minutes but I was getting a bit uncomfortable, so I walked
across the parking lot to these stairs that lead up to the road. I
was gunna walk up those to wait for Lindsey, but she pulled up before
I could lol.
Me and mom:
Me: 11:21am: “My
battery is about to die, so I’m gunna put my phone on the charger,
but I think today might be it! I just downloaded a timer thing on my
kindle. Gunna lay in my room and watch a movie :) I don’t think
i’ll make this appointment after all… I’m sure its not gas lol
Mom: Oct 4, 11:23am:
On my way.
Me: Oct 4, 11:23am:
“You dnt (don’t) have to hurry :) “
Mom: 11:25am: I know
Me: 2:52pm: “Yep,
5cm and 90% efaced, so in labor she said.”
Mom: 2:54pm: “Are
you going to the hospital?”
Me: 2:55pm: “Yeah,
Lindsey’s gunna come take me over. I don’t wanna waddle over lol”
(It was getting a bit uncomfortable to walk through the contractions!
I could tolerate them but really didnt want to walk across the street
and around the corner if I didn’t have to lol)
Mom: 3:57pm “What
rm are you in,”
I didn’t get this
text until a while later, and I didn’t know what room I was in
until after he was born (I think.) I was glad when mom and Ari walked
in.
I sent a message to
Julie, (Lee’s mom) at 2:08pm:
“It’ll
definitely be sometime today. Still waiting at home but I’m
betting/hoping they’ll send me to the hospital after the appt.
She asked if they
were going to induce me. I replied “No they wouldn’t have induced
me for another week… I’m actually checked into the hospital now.
I was about 5cm and 90% effaced. I’m all hooked up. (4:04pm) (I
sent the same message to Lee, a couple minutes later)
I sent a message to
Lee at 2:16pm
“I’m getting
ready to go to my appt, it won’t take long but it’ll be today or
late tonight that he comes gross and uncomfortable things are
happening since earlier today.
At my appointment I
walked in a bit uncomfortable. I told the lady behind the check in
counter that I was there for my appointment at 2:40 and that I was a
bit early. She said “Early is better that late.” We kinda
laughed. I thought I’d be sitting there for at least 10-15 minutes.
I wasn’t sure what time it was, although I remember seeing the time
2:21 on mom’s van clock.
I sat down in a
chair where me and Ari would always sit when we waited. I took out my
kindle to play spider solitare, that I’d been hooked on for days
now. I didn’t get to play much because I was called back already. I
followed her to the scale. She asked how I was and I told her I
thought today was the day. I stood on the scale. 249.7 was my last
weigh in. I went in room 7 (I think)
I saw Nancy, my
favorite midwife, in the hall and said “Hi” to her. I told her I
thought today was the day. I thought she was gunna be who I saw. I
sat in the chair and she asked me the same questions she always did.
“When is my birthday, any allergies, am I taking any medications.”
Nope to all those.
She told me to get
undressed from the waist down. As I took off my blue skirt and
underwear, I could hear outside the door someone (midwives I’m
sure) repeating that I thought I was in labor, and then a knock on
the door. It wasn’t Nancy that walked in. I cannot remember her
name. I’ve only seen her once, and I think she was actually
supposed to be just passing through. I really liked her when I first
saw her. She reminds me of a really calm sweet hippy. Her hair is a
brown red, and curly, and she has this really calm voice. She asked
why I thought I might be in labor. I told her I was having
contractions and bloody discharge. She asked if I wanted to check. I
did, but I reminded her of the discharge. So I laid back and she
checked. It was uncomfortable during the contractions.
She said, “Yep, definitely in labor. You’re at 4-5 cm.” She was still checking when I thought she’d be done pretty quick. She said I was 90% effaced. She told me that baby handled the contractions very well.
She said, “Yep, definitely in labor. You’re at 4-5 cm.” She was still checking when I thought she’d be done pretty quick. She said I was 90% effaced. She told me that baby handled the contractions very well.
She told me I could
either go home, or run some errands, or head over to the hospital if
I wanted. I wasn’t sure at first, although I knew I didn’t want
to go home. I told her I’d walk over to the hospital.
So I updated Lindsey
and mom. Darcie had wanted to meet up with me after her dentist
appointment.
Lindsey asked if I’d
wanted anyone with me at my appointment, but I was finished already
and told her that I was going to waddle to the hospital. The
contractions were getting uncomfortable enough, that I didn’t want
to walk over. I could have. So she was on her way over. I sat down on
curb, at the edge of the parking lot of the doctor’s office to
wait. I got a bit uncomfortable so I got up and headed across the
parking lot, and was gunna walk up some steps and wait on the side
walk, but by then Lindsey pulled in. I didn’t notice Charlie in the
backseat until we were getting out at the hospital.
We went in the front doors. I told Lindsey I wanted to get something to eat cause I was starting to get shaky and hadn’t really eaten anything. I wanted to eat something before I couldn’t anymore.
We headed for the birthing center, then remembered we wanted to get something to eat so we headed to the cafeteria. I asked if Lindsey wanted anything or if Charlie wanted anything. I decided to just get a cheese stick and a chocolate milk. I wasn’t sure how much money was in my account, so I stuck with something little.
We went in the front doors. I told Lindsey I wanted to get something to eat cause I was starting to get shaky and hadn’t really eaten anything. I wanted to eat something before I couldn’t anymore.
We headed for the birthing center, then remembered we wanted to get something to eat so we headed to the cafeteria. I asked if Lindsey wanted anything or if Charlie wanted anything. I decided to just get a cheese stick and a chocolate milk. I wasn’t sure how much money was in my account, so I stuck with something little.
We headed back
toward the birthing center. Lindsey kept suggesting I stop during
contractions, that I didn’t have to keep walking, but we did
anyways (keep walking). The sign in the window of the nursery said 0
twins, I think 5 girls? And 3 boys? I can’t really remember, but I
think there were more girls than boys. We got to the counter and the
nurse asked how she could help us. I told her I needed to check in.
The computers were giving them some issues , or the nurse that was
helping me, had to step away. Another nurse came up, and asked if
we’d been helped, we answered yes, and the nurse that was
originally helping us, came back. We were led to room 17 (although I
didn’t know which room it was until later). In the room, I was
handed a robe to change into, and was told I could leave my bra and
underwear on if I wanted to (and I did). I think I chugged my
chocolate milk after we were in the room. I don’t remember if
midwife Lori came in and introduced herself before or after I had
changed. I had never met her before, and she said she normally worked
in Keizer. I was a little disappointed to have someone I’d never
met before. I was really hoping to get either Nancy, who I’d seen
the most at my appointments, or her daughter Molly, who I’d been
seeing the last couple weeks.
Lindsey was waiting for Keith to come get Charlie, but it was almost time for Elsie to get off the bus so she just ended up taking Charlie to Keith. I don’t remember if she was still there when I was getting hooked up to the fetal monitor and the IV in my arm. I had to get the IV for the group B step that I’d tested positive for at about 31 weeks. Or maybe it was 36 weeks. I can’t remember. I think the nurse tried my right arm first but then switched to my left arm, which is the arm they can usually get needles in. I got the IV in the side of my wrist.
Lindsey was waiting for Keith to come get Charlie, but it was almost time for Elsie to get off the bus so she just ended up taking Charlie to Keith. I don’t remember if she was still there when I was getting hooked up to the fetal monitor and the IV in my arm. I had to get the IV for the group B step that I’d tested positive for at about 31 weeks. Or maybe it was 36 weeks. I can’t remember. I think the nurse tried my right arm first but then switched to my left arm, which is the arm they can usually get needles in. I got the IV in the side of my wrist.
Sitting the bed was
really uncomfortable. I had to get up to use the restroom at least
twice. (The whole pregnancy, I had to pee constantly. For a while I
thought maybe I had a UTI, but there was never any pain, but I’d
have the urge to pee while I was at work, I’d go, and only like a
teaspoon would come out, then I’d have to pee like 20 minutes
later)
The nurses brought
in a big red labor ball (big ball you sit on while you’re in labor.
No pics, darn it :/) They asked if I wanted to try it, and
originally I didn’t really want to cause I didn’t think it’d
help, but once I was sitting on it, it really did help and I didn’t
want to get off of it. I think it was Lori that asked me if I’d
like her to bring me something little to eat, like toast. I said ok
to the toast and she asked if I wanted it with jam, butter or plain.
I got it with jam. I took like two or three bites out of it like a
half hour after she brought it, but each time I took a bite, and I’d
have a contraction, chewing was really irritating and I almost spit
out the last bite just to get it out of my mouth. By this time, the
contractions were a bit more uncomfortable, and rocking on the ball,
while my chest and arms were on the bed, was easier to manage. The
contractions were really different from the ones I had with Ari.
These ones seemed kind of quick. They lasted about 45 seconds or so I
think. But they also put a lot of pressure on my butt so it felt like
I had to poop a huge turd that just wouldn’t come out.
It almost felt like the babies head was trying to come out of my butt! Lol (Maybe that’s what helped him to come out so fast, because they always tell you to pretend like you’re going to take the biggest poop of your life, and because that’s what he felt like, he shot out like a bullet.
It almost felt like the babies head was trying to come out of my butt! Lol (Maybe that’s what helped him to come out so fast, because they always tell you to pretend like you’re going to take the biggest poop of your life, and because that’s what he felt like, he shot out like a bullet.
(Once I got the
epidural, it eased quite a bit, but there was still the poop
pressure, just not that bad, just until Kai was about to be born)
I had to get back
on the bed to be checked, and that’s when I could tell the ball
helped much better than just sitting there. I should have done that
with Ari!
When Lori checked
me this time, I was still at 5cm, which was a little disappointing,
but not surprising.
I got back on the
ball. I think Lindsey was back, and I know when I was back on the
ball, Darcie came. I was pretty uncomfortable at this point in time,
but I remember looking up at her as she walked in. I believe Lindsey
had already tried to give me a wet rag (that might have been when I
was on the bed, and I wanted to throw the rag.) (she told me later
that she was so worried and wanted to help me so bad but didn’t
know what to do. I think she did a darn good job and was being so so
sweet, even though I was irritated at the time!)
Lori would come in
pretty often to see how I was doing, and she’d praise me, and tell
me I was doing great and being so calm. She’d rub my back, and it
was nice.
Mom and Ari showed
up sometime after 4, I think.
(I checked my facebook later that night and found a message from Ari at 3:29. She said “Where are you?????” She knew I had my appointment, which normally she was able to go with me, and I wish she’d gone this time too, but I also knew that when I went into labor she was probably going to miss school. I found out that she’d gone to Juanita, our cat lady neighbor and asked if she knew where her mom was. Juanita asked if there was a note and Ari said she’d found a note but she didn’t understand it. It wasn’t a note for her, it was a note I wrote to put on our front door saying “Please call or text before you stop by. Don’t ring the door bell,” and “No visitors before 10am) Juanita said, I don’t think thats for you. She suggested maybe I was doing laundry.)
(I checked my facebook later that night and found a message from Ari at 3:29. She said “Where are you?????” She knew I had my appointment, which normally she was able to go with me, and I wish she’d gone this time too, but I also knew that when I went into labor she was probably going to miss school. I found out that she’d gone to Juanita, our cat lady neighbor and asked if she knew where her mom was. Juanita asked if there was a note and Ari said she’d found a note but she didn’t understand it. It wasn’t a note for her, it was a note I wrote to put on our front door saying “Please call or text before you stop by. Don’t ring the door bell,” and “No visitors before 10am) Juanita said, I don’t think thats for you. She suggested maybe I was doing laundry.)
I was really glad
when mom and Ari showed up. Ari looked a little nervous. She didn’t
say much. We’d look at each other every so often and smile at each
other.
Mom kept asking who
was texting me. I think I was texting Julie, Lee’s mom, and Lee,
just telling them that I was in the hospital and all hooked up, and a
couple times I was texting Darcie.
I’d packed a snack bag for Ari. There were little bags of chips, apple sauce, cheeze-its, cookies, capri-suns. Mom opened a bag of sour cream and onion Lays chips, while Ari opened a bag of Doritos. I remember mom telling me that she yelled at Sandy when she was in labor with me because she was eating Doritos and it was making her nauseous.
Ari eating the
Doritos was doing the same for me. I didn’t say anything to her
cause I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but it was kind of
grossing me out lol .
Julie was the room part of the time, although I would have been more comfortable if she wasn’t in the room while they would check me. (Hind sight, and how much she loves Caius, I'm actually glad she got to be there)
I think it was a
nurse that asked me if I’d like the epidural now. I was sitting on
the ball, still rocking back and forth. I decided to wait a little
bit longer. I thought that if I got it too soon, it’d wear off and
it’d be as if I never got it. (Editing this on 8/15/18 and what I think I should have been worried about or what I meant to be worried about was it being too late to have the epidural)
I don’t remember
what time Lee got there but I know we started talking about the name
Caius Jacob.
We hadn’t agreed
on a name at all until now. Mom and I had decided on the name a
couple days ago, but I was still unsure about the name Caius. I
wanted to just name him Jacob, but Lee didn’t like it.
I asked how he knew
about the name Caius Jacob, cause the last he heard, was the middle
name was going to be Mathias, and I was set on it. I wanted Jacob
Mathias. We almost landed on Henry, but I wanted Ari to have a say
too, and she really wanted his name to be Samuel. I liked Sammy and
Sam, but not so much Samuel. I had grown to like another name she
suggested, Asriel.
So as I was in
labor and having contractions, I was trying to make sure Lee liked
the name Caius Jacob. I mentioned that I know he didn’t like the
name Jacob, but I think he said it was ok since it was just the
middle name. I know a little bit later he came up to me as I was
sitting on the ball and said, what about the middle name Oliver. I
think I said yeah sure whatever. Or something like that. I guess mom
heard me, and she was kind of shocked because I was completely
against Oliver before, but I was so sick of fighting over what my
kid’s name was going to be.
I would have named him Jacob and the whole name thing would have been over long ago lol.
I remember there was a slight discussion on how it was going to be spelled, with a C or with a K. I liked how Caius was spelled with a C, but I liked the nickname Kai spelled with a K. But I think the main name was going to be spelled with a K, then I think it was Lee that said he liked how it was spelled with a C better, so it went back to that. Then I remember being on the ball, rocking through a contraction when I think it was Mom that asked if it was spelled with a C, or said she thought it was with a K, and with my head buried in my arms I said, “It was spelled with a K, until about 10 minutes ago”.
I would have named him Jacob and the whole name thing would have been over long ago lol.
I remember there was a slight discussion on how it was going to be spelled, with a C or with a K. I liked how Caius was spelled with a C, but I liked the nickname Kai spelled with a K. But I think the main name was going to be spelled with a K, then I think it was Lee that said he liked how it was spelled with a C better, so it went back to that. Then I remember being on the ball, rocking through a contraction when I think it was Mom that asked if it was spelled with a C, or said she thought it was with a K, and with my head buried in my arms I said, “It was spelled with a K, until about 10 minutes ago”.
Ari was being so
sweet and I was glad she didn’t seem to be freaked out, although
she did seem really quiet. She was holding my hand and stroking it
trying to make me feel better. (the hand that didn’t have an IV in
it) Around that time is when Lee got there (I can’t remember what
time that was, probably closer to 5:30) Lee told Ari, “your mom
doesn’t like to be petted, Ari.” (He said that because I told
him after he decided he was going to be in the room for the
birth---he’d told me back in June or July when I asked him if he
wanted to be in there, he said no. I was totally fine with that, but
mom said he needed to be in there. When I met his mom in July (on my
birthday I think) she told him he should be in there too. His dad
didn’t think there was any reason for him to be in there because
he’d just get in the way.) Anyways, Lee said that because when he
decided to be in the room, I didn’t want to be petted, and I wanted
him to be at my head, and that he could look down when the head was
coming out. So he assumed I didn’t like to be petted, which is
true, but I meant just my head. Don’t pet my head. Lol.
She’d come over to
my every so often and ask me, “how you doing freak?”
I think a while
later Lori came in and asked me if I’d like the epidural. That was
probably around 6ish? I told her I did want it, but I didn’t want
to get it too soon, that I was worried it would wear off too quickly.
Then as I was saying that I remembering that they could just put more
into the IV or however that works, and that’s what Lori ended up
telling me. So I opted to get the epidural now. She told me that if I
wanted, I needed to finish my toast now, cause after the epidural I
wouldn’t be able to eat anything until after birth. She said
something about if she let me eat it with the epidural she’d hear
about it later or something. So I said, no I was done with the toast.
Two new people came in pushing this big machine. One was the
anesthesiologist and the other, I’m not quiet sure who she was, but
she was pushing the machine.) I had to sit up with my legs hanging
over the side of the bed. They were very patient (every single one of
the nurses that I encountered would stop speaking while I was having
a contraction and they’d wait until it passed, before continuing to
talk) They explained everything about the epidural. I had to hold
really still. I had to arch my back while she put it in, and had to
tell her if I started tasting anything in my mouth. They put some
tape over the epidural and told me it’d take 5 to 10 minutes to
kick in. I definitely noticed when it started working. The
contractions had been pretty intense but not too horrible, especially
when I was rocking on the ball, but they were bad enough to where I
couldn’t talk through them, and I couldn’t focus on anyone
speaking to me.
I was a happy
camper after the epidural kicked in, and everyone (family) could tell
the difference. I was telling them about how the flashing “admit
baby” on the screen of the Panda warmer, irritated me cause I
thought it said “actual baby” and didn’t know why it said that.
I also had realized that it flashed once a second. I could hear the
clock ticking, and each tick, the “admit baby” sign flashed.
(Just something I remember about that day!)
Someone had turned
the tv on and there was a Harry Potter marathon on. (Twilight
marathon was gunna be on on Saturday)
Before I got the
epidural, I had to have catheter put in. There was a blond nurse that
had come in with small prepacked catheter. She explained what she was
going to do, then she sat down between my legs. It was pretty
uncomfortable as she tried to push the first cath tube in. She
apologized after a moment and said she’d be back, that she had to
get another one to try again. She came back and apologized again, as
she tried the second one.
She seemed confused as to why she couldn’t get it past a certain point, so she called in another nurse and asked her to bring in a catheter (she used a different term but that’s what it was) When the other nurse came in with the third catheter, they were both pondering what could cause the tube to stop at a certain point. They thought maybe the baby’s head was so low they couldn’t get it in, so they called in Lori to check to see how dilated I was. She had to really “get in there” (that kinda hurt!) and said it wasn’t the babies he head that was blocking the catheter cause he was still pretty far up there. So they had to try a third catheter. With each catheter they tried, I guess I would bleed a lot. I think I heard her say at least 15 ml of blood came out (I don’t know if that was each time they tried a catheter or total). I dunno how much that is but it sure was uncomfortable when they were trying to get it in! They finally got that third catheter in after just pushing it past that point of it stopping. (They’d asked if I had trouble peeing before, but other than going pee A LOT, there was no problem) I did tell them that I wondered sometimes if I had a UTI because I was peeing so so often (We’d go through at least 1 roll of toilet paper in two days, but since there was no pain, I figured it was just babies head pushing down on my bladder.) The catheter was finally in. The urge to pee was worse. I felt like when you do have a bladder infection and the urge to pee is there but you really can’t… do you know what I mean? They told me if I feel a trickling to let them know because it’ll most likely be my water breaking, not me peeing.
She seemed confused as to why she couldn’t get it past a certain point, so she called in another nurse and asked her to bring in a catheter (she used a different term but that’s what it was) When the other nurse came in with the third catheter, they were both pondering what could cause the tube to stop at a certain point. They thought maybe the baby’s head was so low they couldn’t get it in, so they called in Lori to check to see how dilated I was. She had to really “get in there” (that kinda hurt!) and said it wasn’t the babies he head that was blocking the catheter cause he was still pretty far up there. So they had to try a third catheter. With each catheter they tried, I guess I would bleed a lot. I think I heard her say at least 15 ml of blood came out (I don’t know if that was each time they tried a catheter or total). I dunno how much that is but it sure was uncomfortable when they were trying to get it in! They finally got that third catheter in after just pushing it past that point of it stopping. (They’d asked if I had trouble peeing before, but other than going pee A LOT, there was no problem) I did tell them that I wondered sometimes if I had a UTI because I was peeing so so often (We’d go through at least 1 roll of toilet paper in two days, but since there was no pain, I figured it was just babies head pushing down on my bladder.) The catheter was finally in. The urge to pee was worse. I felt like when you do have a bladder infection and the urge to pee is there but you really can’t… do you know what I mean? They told me if I feel a trickling to let them know because it’ll most likely be my water breaking, not me peeing.
The nurses and Lori
were having trouble getting the fetal monitor to get and keep the
babies heart beat on the monitor. I wasn’t concerned about that
part because in the appointments, the midwives had to push down with
the doppler to hear his heart, and a couple times in the last month
they had to push harder, and got faint/hidden heart beat. None of
these nurses knew that and since I’d never seen Lori before she
didn’t know either.
I’m not sure at
which point Kai’s heart rate would drop when I’d have
contractions. I do remember laying on my right side, or on my back,
and I was able to talk with mom, and Darcie and Lindsey as they sat
on the couch.
Lori told me she was
going to have me move to my left side because baby wasn’t liking me
being on my right side. So I had moved to my left side. It was hard
to move with the tubes, and then moving during the contractions was
difficult too.
They were messing
with the fetal monitor some more, and I just figured they were
worried that they couldn’t keep track of it.
Around 7 or so,
(guessing on the time here, but I know it was about an hour or so
before he was born) that someone (nurse or Lori) told me that they’d
like me to get on my hands and knees. Ugh! I didn’t want to move
anymore. It was too uncomfortable moving during contractions and I
didn’t want people seeing my big butt hanging loose
lol! I slowly sat up and maneuvered myself onto my knees. I could
hardly feel my legs, so that made it hard to move forward. They put
this big green ball that was oddly shaped so I could lean my chest
over it. One of the nurses (the pregnant one) stood on the right
side, and I heard Lori mention that I wanted to keep covered so no
one could see anything. If Lee’s mom weren’t in there (cause I'd only met her one time before the birth!), I
wouldn’t have minded as much (but then again I still would have!) I kept trying
to cover myself with the gown, and blanket, but then Lee came over
and held the blanket up for me like a curtain. I was like that for
about 10 minutes or so I think, before I went back to laying on my
back. I didn’t realize that baby was dropping with each
contraction, I just thought it was certain positions. At this point I
was still thinking they were just trying to get his heart rate to
stay on the fetal monitor.
Someone told me
that they were going to step out for a few minutes and if I felt
anything different, like a leaking sensation, to let them know as
soon as I felt it.
I remember calling
them back in at some point because I did feel something that felt
similar to when I was in labor with Ari, a trickling feeling. (When I
was in labor with Ari, I think my water broke while I was on the bed,
I didn’t feel it, but I do remember the pushing sensation and every
so often I felt like I was peeing my pants when i’d “push”)
So when I called
them back in, they checked (I don’t remember if it was a nurse or
Lori). It wasn’t my water, unfortunately. It was just discharge. I
was disappointed because it did feel more like a trickle.
It must have been
close to going on 8pm when Lori asked someone, I think maybe a nurse,
to step out so they could talk things over and see what they could
do. They were gone for about 5 minutes or so before coming back in.
That’s when Lori
came up to me on the left side of the bed and said, that they
discussed their options and decided that the best option was to do a
C-section. Now when she said this, I heard her, but it didn’t
register. I knew I didn’t want a Csection. I heard mom behind me
say “Oh man.” or “Oh no!”
I know that I said
something like, “Can’t we try something else.”
Lori told me
that the best thing to do because baby was in distress each time I
had a contraction was to get him out by c-section. I didn’t want to
argue with her, so I nodded and said ok. The reason I didn’t want
to have a c-section was because I had heard my mom’s stories plenty
of times to remember that the recovery time is a lot longer and you
can hardly function for a couple of weeks. I had too much at home
that couldn’t be put off for weeks. Getting Ari off to school,
taking the dogs out to the bathroom (bending over and picking up
their poop) cleaning litter boxes, and more.
They were talking
about getting Dr. Yang, an OB-GYN, to discuss things with him. I was
really really not wanting to have a c-section.
When Lori came back
in with the other nurses, she said that only one person was going to
be able to come with me. I wanted to choose mom and because I didn’t
say anything, Lee said he would go in. (Mom told me on 10-13-17, when
she was over, that she almost started crying because she started
thinking “what if something happened, and I died, and me being
wheeled out was the last time she ever saw me.” That made me feel
really bad, but I told her, I would have rather have had her in there
than Lee. (Sorry Lee!)
So I was told that
the on call doctor, Dr. Yang would be coming in to go over things
with me. I still couldn’t believe that I was going to have a
c-section. I was trying to imagine being wheeled off into some
operating room, and not being able to hold my baby for who knows how
long. I couldn’t help but thing about what Ari was thinking too. I
gave her a hug and said something like “I’ll see you in a little
bit.” And I love you, and I know I said something about either
going to have the baby cut out of me, or not wanting to be cut open,
but that I’d be fine. I didn’t want her to be scared though.
Dr. Yang came in
and I think Lori and him were talking for a moment, but then he
turned to me and started talking. I don’t remember much of what he
was saying to me because he’d keep talking through contractions. He
asked me if the epidural was working ok for me, and I said that it
was.
I know I must have
mentioned at least breaking my water or something like that. He
wanted to check me before they wheeled me away. Mom and Lee were
still in the room. I don’t remember if anyone else was still in
there.
Dr. Yang sat down
between my legs and checked me. That was painful. He didn’t really
warn me or anything. When Lori (and the other midwives) would check
me, they’d tell me I’d feel a touch on my leg, then they’d
check. Dr. Yang and his man hand just went right in, full force! He
announced that I was at 10 cm, and we would at least attempt a
natural birth. I think it was Dr. Yang that said everyone but one
person needed to clear out of the room. I asked Lori if two people
could stay, that I wanted my mom to stay. She said “Kathy, you can
stay.” I was so relieved by that.
I don’t remember
the details of what he said, whether he was going to pop my waters or
what. I do remember the mention of the vacuum. As everyone was
scrambling around, and talking or explaining what to do, I felt this
bulge so suddenly, that I thought it was the babies head right there.
It was the weirdest feeling ever. It lasted maybe 1 second, cause
then it popped and I felt a gush, and instantly knew that had to be
my water. I said, “Uh! My water just broke.” I don’t remember
if I said “oh my God.” first, because it was such a weird
feeling.
Very shortly after
that I felt instant pressure, like the contractions but even more
intense.
Dr. Yang was in
between my legs, and they were moving the end part of the bed away so
that the water and other after birth would fall into that and not all
over the floor or bed.
This next part all
happened so so fast.
I felt intense
pressure, and I felt the urge to push until Dr Yang put his fingers
along the sides of baby's head, and seemed to be trying to rip me in
half.
Obviously thats not what he was doing lol, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but his hands. The nurses and Lori, and maybe even Dr. Yang were all saying to push, and to put my chin to my chest. I kept saying “No, no, no! I can’t!” When his fingers weren’t in there, I felt like I could concentrate more and could have grabbed my own legs, which they did tell me to do, but I kept saying “No! I can’t!”. I tried to fight through the horrible tearing apart feeling and did put my chin to my chest, but I didn’t feel like I was doing that right. I heard mom behind me, or on the right side, slightly behind me, say “You’re doing good Jess”
Obviously thats not what he was doing lol, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but his hands. The nurses and Lori, and maybe even Dr. Yang were all saying to push, and to put my chin to my chest. I kept saying “No, no, no! I can’t!” When his fingers weren’t in there, I felt like I could concentrate more and could have grabbed my own legs, which they did tell me to do, but I kept saying “No! I can’t!”. I tried to fight through the horrible tearing apart feeling and did put my chin to my chest, but I didn’t feel like I was doing that right. I heard mom behind me, or on the right side, slightly behind me, say “You’re doing good Jess”
I did have Lee’s
hand for a little bit I think, and I was squishing it pretty good
from what I remember when Dr. Yang first put his fingers down there,
but I let go of his hand when they told me to grab my legs and push.
The tearing feeling
suddenly released a “pop” feeling, and I thought he was born, but
I think I heard someone say “His head it out!” and the pressure
was still there, then another “pop” feeling and everyone was
saying “He’s here! He’s out!” Then he was on my chest. I
heard someone say he’s a boy.
I don’t remember
Lee sasying much, he was standing right next to me.
I was trying to look
at the new little baby laying on my chest. I think he must have cried
at least a little bit cause Lindsey and Darcie said they all cried
(Ari had tears in her eyes) when they heard him cry. They’d all
been waiting just outside the door, waiting to see where I was
wheeled off to for my c-section when they said they heard them saying
push, push, and then he was out. He was born in two or three pushes.
He came so fast that he didn’t even have a weird shaped head, not
even a little ‘knob’ where he’d gone into the birth canal. The
doctor didn’t even have to use the vacuum (thank goodness!).
He seemed nice and
calm on my chest as Dr. Yang still worked on me. I felt him pulling
the cord, I felt it touching my area. I felt him still messing around
down there. You know, after the epidural wears off and you think
about either squeezing out another head, or you cringe when the nurse
explains to you, no sex for at least 6 weeks, cause the thought of
anything going back up there ever makes you ache… well that’s
kinda what it was like as he worked down there. He didn’t seem very
gentle. I could feel everything. I don’t know if they’d shut off
the epidural, or what was going on, cause when Caius was coming out,
there was so much pressure for one, which I know is normal, but I
feel like maybe the effects the epidural should have had were not
there.
The feeling of the
long cord coming out, was all there, then I felt the placenta. I
think I remember that somewhat hurting, or feeling almost like a
slightly smaller head coming out.
I wish I’d gotten
a picture of it. They are so weird/gross looking.
Dr. Yang explained
he needed to stitch me up because I’d torn, and I think I asked
what degree, and I don’t remember who answered but it was a 2nd
degree tear. I had a third degree tear with Ari, and the only time I
said “ow!” during labor with Ari, was when I got the shot of
lidocane to numb the area to get stitches. There was
none of that this time! He didn’t give me a shot, (which I didn’t
even realize until Lori had asked me how I felt about the delivery
and I was talking about the only time I said ‘ow’), he just
started stitching. I know I kept trying to move away. Not
completely, cause I knew I had to stay still, but I felt my bottom
half trying to cringe away. He said at least twice that he was almost
done, and it just kept coming! He kept pouring something down there,
that I felt the bubbling of it.
I think before he
left he may have congratulated me, and might have said I did a good
job, and then he left. (But I don’t remember, and I didn’t see
him at all after that.)
I think the put
Caius on my chest right away. I held on to him and tried looking at
him from my awkward angle. I know he cried a little at first and the
only reason why I know he did is because Lindsey and Darcie and Ari
all said he did, cause they heard him when he was born, and that’s
when they cried. (Julie had gone to the bathroom real quick, and when she came back, he was born!)
He was lightly
wrapped in a receiving blanket, and I had my hands on him. I didn’t
see his boy parts, but I know he was a boy cause someone said so. I
didn’t see that he was covered in the white gooey stuff at all. Ari
was caked in it along her back. It all went so so fast that I
vaguely remember people around me. I know Lee was next to me cause I
had squished his hand, but I had to ask mom where she was standing. I
felt like she was behind Lee, above my head, but she said she was
standing next to Lee so she saw Caius come out. I don’t know where
certain nurses were standing. I don’t know who clamped the cord,
but whoever it was, I remember them handing Lee scissors to cut the
cord.
A nurse (the one in
pictures doing Kai’s foot prints) asked if I wanted to see the
placenta before they got rid of it. (I remember thinking, as I looked
at it from a distance, that I wonder if they’re really going to
throw it away, or if they are going to use it for something that I
don’t know about-- Later that night or the next day, a nurse said
they were going to test his placenta, either because of his
temperature staying low, or some other reason) I kinda looked at it
(the placenta)… now I kinda wish I’d gotten a photo. I know that
sounds really weird, but just to record that part of my life I guess.
Mom was telling the nurse that she thought placentas looked gross.
The nurse said she thought they were pretty cool and interesting.
From the image in my head of Kai’s placenta, I think the cord was
thin looking.
I remember talking
to Kai a little bit as he laid on my chest. I tried lifting him a
little so mom could see him better. He was so little and I didn’t
want to accidentally drop him so I didn’t give anyone too good of a
look yet.
Lindsey popped her
head in about 5 or 10 minutes after Caius was born and asked if Ari
could come in. I said yes, and Lori said of course, but instead of
just Ari, everyone came in. (Darcie, Lindsey, and Julie) and I think
Shane was there at this point. On my birth plan that the midwives had me fill out, I wrote that for at least the first hour I only wanted, Ari, mom and Lee if he wanted to be in the room. Then other people could visit.
I had completely forgotten,
but later after mom and Ari left she told me Ari was really upset
that she didn’t get to hold the baby first like we’d planned.
That really upset me. I don’t remember who, besides me, got to hold
him first. It may have been Lee, which is fine, but Ari didn't get to hold him at all until the next day.
I kept saying that I
was itchy. I was told it was from the epidural and that it’d go
away soon. I told mom that it reminded me of when I drank cherry
pepsi and had an allergic reaction to it. (Without the swelling of my
tongue, and eyes)
I hope it wasn't too graphic for you and that you enjoyed reading!
