I've never really talked about this before or written about it, since we had to in court in July 2000 (I think that's when it was)
I don't remember a whole lot about that night. I was babysitting my siblings, two other girls and I had babysat a few times (Sam and Casey) and two boys (Jared and I forget his brother's name) Shane was in bed I think because he was pretty little still.
I only remember us goofing off, standing on eachother, making a pyramid, and I only remember all this cause we took photos.
Mom and Eddy had gone out to Frank-n-stein's bar. When they came back they had Ed with them. Eddy went to bed.
Mom played 52 pick up with us I think... somehow playing cards ended up all over the floor. Mom had been drinking so I think that's why she was ok with the cards being on the floor. I remember thinking it was weird that she was ok with that lol.
She ended up passing out on the couch. Ed stayed there and we ended up watching Dr. Doolittle (with Eddie Murphy) Jared and his brother were gone but Sam and Casey I think were asleep on the love seat. They're parents were bar tenders at Frank-N-Stein's so they wouldn't pick them up until like 5am or so.
I was sitting in the corner of the two couches. Ed was sitting somewhere beside me, on the loveseat I think on my right.
Lindsey was laying on the floor I think (I could be only thinking she was because in her story in court she was laying on the floor)
Tyler must have gone to bed because he wasn't downstairs anymore
Ed's hand ended up on my shoulder, and I thought it was a little weird. I kept wondering if it was slowly moving downward, but I wasn't sure. I kept thinking "no.. no its not."
I know I eventually ended up going upstairs. It was probably around 5am I think, but I'm not too sure on the time.
In hindsight I can't believe I left my sister downstairs by herself with him but I don't think I thought of it at the time... plus mom was on the couch.
I went to bed.
I woke up to the feeling of someone touching me... or of my Tomagotchi/Giga pet thing beeping to be fed. It was handing on a tack on my wall... I think I had two of them.
I laid there cause I did feel someone touching my leg. It was rubbing up and down my right leg. Then trying to kind of push my legs apart.... (I was laying on my stomach)
I stayed there... I'm not sure if I was scared, but I didn't move. I kept thinking, "just let it happen"
I don't remember if I had shorts on or just underwear (and a t-shirt obviously)
His hand was under my shorts, on my butt.
I don't remember how long it was until I rolled over and that's when I saw Ed sitting there.
He said he wanted to say goodbye cause he was leaving.
So I sat up and gave him a hug, and he left. This was between 6-8 am, but not totally sure...
Lindsey was in her bed, and she was awake the whole time. She kept wishing that my GigaPet thing would wake me up, but I don't think that's what woke me.
Me and Lindsey sat there and talked for a few minutes I think, but I don't know what about, and I don't remember if she told me that he'd done stuff to her downstairs, (the only thing I remember was her saying she wished that gigapet woke me up.) but we went back to sleep at some point... or at least I did cause we got woken up around 3pm!
Someone woke us up cause dad was there to take us for a while.
We went with him to Uncle Joe's. He was living in an RV behind Jim and Julie's house.
I think I remember Uncle Joe talking to Lindsey about her teacher Miss Royston.
We were there for a bit. It was a very awkward day. We went home, but I don't remember anything else about that day other than I was upstairs when Lindsey went downstairs to tell mom about what happened. Mom was cooking dinner. I don't remember what she was making, I feel like it was spaghetti. Not sure.
Tyler came up very shortly after that, and said "Ed's going to jail!"
I think I asked "Why?"
I sat there for a long time. I had a toy horse in my hand that I had been playing with and I think my eyes teared up.
I don't remember if we were downstairs when the cops showed up or if I had to be called down, but I do remember thinking it was kind of funny that we were watching Cops on tv.
There were two cops I think. One was an Officer Shane I think.
Lindsey went first. They were in the kitchen kneeled down on the floor. Then it was my turn. I don't remember that part. I don't remember talking to the cop, but I know I did.
Ed was arrested that night. I think the police log said he was arrested somewhere on Garfield st.
The next time I saw him was in court. It was just a hearing I think. It was the first and only one I was allowed to go to cause Ed got mad at his lawyer and was yelling.
His lawyer had shared a file with my mom with all kinds of messed up stories from Ed molesting a horse when he was like 18 or 19yrs old. There was one that involved a 15 year old I think... That might have been when Ed was in the Army.
My mom shared that file with a lot of people at the bar (Frank-N-Stein's) I think she got kicked out of the bar that night.
We had to talk to a guy, our lawyer I think, called Daryl Tweed. We had to tell our stories, each one at a time, in the room with a long table. There was a woman in there too, but I don't remember her name or why she was there.
I remember Tweed said at the trial I had to dress nicely, no shirts with print on them or cartoons. I think my shirt had some sort of character on it.
The next time we went to court was the trial. Lindsey went first. Then it was my turn. That was so nerve wracking. This was the first time I had to tell the story in front of my mom and telling what had happened felt really embarrassing.
I remember Ed's lawyer, a new one cause he fired his other lawyer, asking dumb questions trying to make me sound like I was lying or something like that, so I remember trying to sound snarky a little bit.
They almost didn't count what happened to me, and I remember being upset by that. Although I never voiced it, it bothered me. Just because I was 13 and he only touched my legs (I think, but I can't remember, that I left out his hand in my pants....) I think if I had shared everything, it would have meant more.
I don't think there was a jury, I don' t remember.
Ed spent 6 years in prison. He was released in like 2006 or something. He went to Chemeketa, graduated then like 6 months after that (2011 or something) he was arrested for almost the same thing again.
He was chatting with a 13 year old online. They had both sent dirty pictures to each other. He wanted to set up to meet her at a park somewhere to have sex with her. She was ready to do it but then backed down at the last minute which pissed Ed off. He threatened her. He told her if she didn't do it, he was going to put the naked pictures of her up at school.
Ed knew where she lived and he ended up putting one up on her front door.
The girl told her parents and that's when they called the cops.
The cops set up a sting and arrested Ed at the park (it was night time)
He was sentenced for several years... he should be in his mid 70's before he's released.
Thursday, August 9, 2018
Thursday, March 8, 2018
I'm finally driving!!!
I got my license on July 5th 2017... I was almost 32! I know I know, I waited forever.
I still didn't drive though because I couldn't afford the insurance for a vehicle.
I got my income taxes on Feb 24th and bought insurance on the 26th I think.
We drove to the gas station at Roth's on March 3rd and filled up the tank. It cost just over $51.
After the gas station we drove to Napa to get some windshield wipers (the old ones were falling off, one had already fallen off.. dunno how that happened!) I also turned in the old battery that had been sitting in the back seat of my truck for over two years!
We stopped at Roth's on the way home and went in and bought some things.
The next day (Sunday) we took a small load to Goodwill. We stayed home from church today cause I had a head cold and Kai had a slight fever through the night.
On Monday the 5th, me and Caius went to say hi to my friends at Rite Aid. Edna was there, so I talked with her a little bit. Collie was there, and Joe was there. I went to get Sambucol for me and Ari (they were out) and some cold medicine for Kai.
On Tuesday the 6th, I had my first WIC appointment at 9:10am. (I had been worried about going to it because I wasn't driving when I made the appointment, and was trying to decide weather to walk or ask mom to take me.. Ari stayed home sick from school. She seemed fine but she said she was feeling crappy. We went for lunch at Dairy Queen. We went through the drive through cause we brought Zoe and it was warm today. We stopped at Rite Aid again cause Sarah was working and I hadn't seen her since I left, and she hadn't met Kai yet. I talked to her for about 10-15 minutes. Then I bought some wind shield wiper fluid and jumper cables. I went back outside and Ari complained that I took so long. (she didn't wanna come in)
We went home and ate lunch. Mom was already here.
We hung out until 3:30, when we headed out to go to Ari's appointment. She was supposed to get an HPV shot but after we waited like 10-15 minutes, they took us into a room and then asked why we were here. It turned out that in the two months since she got her first HPV shot, they changed the space in between shots. So instead of 2 months after the shot its 6 months, and so on. So we went home. I had also been nervous about parking in the parking lot where Ari's Dr. was cause it seemed very narrow. So we left and headed home. I think we stopped at the store on the way home.
Wednesday- I had Charlie all day so we didn't go anywhere until about 6:30ish. We headed to Safeway. I wanted to get a few different things. We bought a steak, marinade, baby formula (they didn't give me any at the WIC appointment cause I breastfeed) also go, baby food, some chicken, pork steak, coffee, pepsi, juice, gum for Ari, bleach wipes, rice, and a few other things.
On Thursday, I wanted to go to Goodwill, take the rest of my stuff there and also to go in and look for some sheets for when my new bed arrives. I also needed to get some printer paper cause I told mom I would print some bank statements for her. I decided to just go to Roth's get the paper and go to Goodwill later.
It was almost 1 when we got home (We left shortly after 12:30)
We didn't go to goodwill today, so we'll go tomorrow after Charlie leaves.
Some of my short term goals for driving is it, go to the zoo with my two kids, going camping either at john neal, or staying in a cabin at Silver Falls.
I wanna go to the beach with my kids and dogs.
I still didn't drive though because I couldn't afford the insurance for a vehicle.
I got my income taxes on Feb 24th and bought insurance on the 26th I think.
We drove to the gas station at Roth's on March 3rd and filled up the tank. It cost just over $51.
After the gas station we drove to Napa to get some windshield wipers (the old ones were falling off, one had already fallen off.. dunno how that happened!) I also turned in the old battery that had been sitting in the back seat of my truck for over two years!
We stopped at Roth's on the way home and went in and bought some things.
The next day (Sunday) we took a small load to Goodwill. We stayed home from church today cause I had a head cold and Kai had a slight fever through the night.
On Monday the 5th, me and Caius went to say hi to my friends at Rite Aid. Edna was there, so I talked with her a little bit. Collie was there, and Joe was there. I went to get Sambucol for me and Ari (they were out) and some cold medicine for Kai.
On Tuesday the 6th, I had my first WIC appointment at 9:10am. (I had been worried about going to it because I wasn't driving when I made the appointment, and was trying to decide weather to walk or ask mom to take me.. Ari stayed home sick from school. She seemed fine but she said she was feeling crappy. We went for lunch at Dairy Queen. We went through the drive through cause we brought Zoe and it was warm today. We stopped at Rite Aid again cause Sarah was working and I hadn't seen her since I left, and she hadn't met Kai yet. I talked to her for about 10-15 minutes. Then I bought some wind shield wiper fluid and jumper cables. I went back outside and Ari complained that I took so long. (she didn't wanna come in)
We went home and ate lunch. Mom was already here.
We hung out until 3:30, when we headed out to go to Ari's appointment. She was supposed to get an HPV shot but after we waited like 10-15 minutes, they took us into a room and then asked why we were here. It turned out that in the two months since she got her first HPV shot, they changed the space in between shots. So instead of 2 months after the shot its 6 months, and so on. So we went home. I had also been nervous about parking in the parking lot where Ari's Dr. was cause it seemed very narrow. So we left and headed home. I think we stopped at the store on the way home.
Wednesday- I had Charlie all day so we didn't go anywhere until about 6:30ish. We headed to Safeway. I wanted to get a few different things. We bought a steak, marinade, baby formula (they didn't give me any at the WIC appointment cause I breastfeed) also go, baby food, some chicken, pork steak, coffee, pepsi, juice, gum for Ari, bleach wipes, rice, and a few other things.
On Thursday, I wanted to go to Goodwill, take the rest of my stuff there and also to go in and look for some sheets for when my new bed arrives. I also needed to get some printer paper cause I told mom I would print some bank statements for her. I decided to just go to Roth's get the paper and go to Goodwill later.
It was almost 1 when we got home (We left shortly after 12:30)
We didn't go to goodwill today, so we'll go tomorrow after Charlie leaves.
Some of my short term goals for driving is it, go to the zoo with my two kids, going camping either at john neal, or staying in a cabin at Silver Falls.
I wanna go to the beach with my kids and dogs.
Saturday, January 27, 2018
Birth of Caius Jacob October 4, 2017 8:45pm
Labor and delivery:
The day started at
6:30ish. I got Ari off to school. We’d walked down to the sidewalk
to wait for Glissa, Ari’s best friend. I was back in bed by 6:38. I
don’t think I put anything on my kindle to listen to like I usually
do. I dosed off but woke up at 7:30 and every hour after that until
about 10. Lindsey text me asking if I wanted to go to a Baby Bottom
dollar sale at the Oregon Fair grounds, (I think that’s what it was
called) Here are the texts:
Lindsey Oct 4,
6:34am: “I woke up with a weird feeling that you are in labor. How
are you?”
Me: Oct 4, 6:36:
“Not in labor ;) still normal lol going back to sleep (I typed
sleel) , Ari just left with her friend.”
Lindsey Oct 4,
6:37am: “Ok lol love you rest well seester”
Me: 6:38am: “Loveee
you! I’ll text you when im do. I won’t leave you in the dark…
Unless its the middle of the night then I wont wanna wake you! :) “
Lindsey: 6:39am:
“Wake me!”
Me: 6:39am: “Lol
ok!”
Lindsey Oct 4
10:59am “Want to go to the baby bottom sale in Salem at the
fairgrounds?”
Me: Oct 4, 11:09am:
“I’m gunna skip it :) I have a headache… Either need a nap or a
pop lol… I thinkg today might be it… I just downloaded a timer
thing just in case. I’m getting that annoyed irritated feeling you
know when ur uncomfortable? Lol”
Lindsey 11:10am:
“Yeah do you want me to bring you a soda or anything?”
Me: 11:11am: “I
have a case of pop in the fridge, thanks tho ;-) “
Lindsey 11:12am: “I
can come over and clean and you can nap and maybe go for a walk
after.”
Me: 11:15am: “Ur
funny! Yesterday I vacuumed, shampooed the carpet did laundry, we
walked to the store, cleaned off the back porch, replanted plants.
Maybe that did it ;) “
Lindsey: 11:16am:
“Do you have an appt today?”
Me: 11:19am: “Yeah
at 2:40. Moms gunna drop me off before she heads to work. (my phone
is gunna die soon so I need to put it on the charger in the kitchen,
so I won’t be respond as fast) I’ll keep you posted tho!”
Lindsey: 11:21am:
“Ok get some rest and eat something cuz you never know lol”
Lindsey: 2:39: “Do
you want someone to be with you at you appt.?
Me: 2:51pm: “I’m
just got finished :) In labor, 5cm.. I’m gunna walk over to the
hospital I think :) “
Me: 2:51pm: “Unless
you wanna drive me the 40 feet over? Lol”
Lindsey: 2:54pm “I
be there in two”
I sat down outside
the doctor’s office, on the curb in the last parking space for a
couple minutes but I was getting a bit uncomfortable, so I walked
across the parking lot to these stairs that lead up to the road. I
was gunna walk up those to wait for Lindsey, but she pulled up before
I could lol.
Me and mom:
Me: 11:21am: “My
battery is about to die, so I’m gunna put my phone on the charger,
but I think today might be it! I just downloaded a timer thing on my
kindle. Gunna lay in my room and watch a movie :) I don’t think
i’ll make this appointment after all… I’m sure its not gas lol
Mom: Oct 4, 11:23am:
On my way.
Me: Oct 4, 11:23am:
“You dnt (don’t) have to hurry :) “
Mom: 11:25am: I know
Me: 2:52pm: “Yep,
5cm and 90% efaced, so in labor she said.”
Mom: 2:54pm: “Are
you going to the hospital?”
Me: 2:55pm: “Yeah,
Lindsey’s gunna come take me over. I don’t wanna waddle over lol”
(It was getting a bit uncomfortable to walk through the contractions!
I could tolerate them but really didnt want to walk across the street
and around the corner if I didn’t have to lol)
Mom: 3:57pm “What
rm are you in,”
I didn’t get this
text until a while later, and I didn’t know what room I was in
until after he was born (I think.) I was glad when mom and Ari walked
in.
I sent a message to
Julie, (Lee’s mom) at 2:08pm:
“It’ll
definitely be sometime today. Still waiting at home but I’m
betting/hoping they’ll send me to the hospital after the appt.
She asked if they
were going to induce me. I replied “No they wouldn’t have induced
me for another week… I’m actually checked into the hospital now.
I was about 5cm and 90% effaced. I’m all hooked up. (4:04pm) (I
sent the same message to Lee, a couple minutes later)
I sent a message to
Lee at 2:16pm
“I’m getting
ready to go to my appt, it won’t take long but it’ll be today or
late tonight that he comes gross and uncomfortable things are
happening since earlier today.
At my appointment I
walked in a bit uncomfortable. I told the lady behind the check in
counter that I was there for my appointment at 2:40 and that I was a
bit early. She said “Early is better that late.” We kinda
laughed. I thought I’d be sitting there for at least 10-15 minutes.
I wasn’t sure what time it was, although I remember seeing the time
2:21 on mom’s van clock.
I sat down in a
chair where me and Ari would always sit when we waited. I took out my
kindle to play spider solitare, that I’d been hooked on for days
now. I didn’t get to play much because I was called back already. I
followed her to the scale. She asked how I was and I told her I
thought today was the day. I stood on the scale. 249.7 was my last
weigh in. I went in room 7 (I think)
I saw Nancy, my
favorite midwife, in the hall and said “Hi” to her. I told her I
thought today was the day. I thought she was gunna be who I saw. I
sat in the chair and she asked me the same questions she always did.
“When is my birthday, any allergies, am I taking any medications.”
Nope to all those.
She told me to get
undressed from the waist down. As I took off my blue skirt and
underwear, I could hear outside the door someone (midwives I’m
sure) repeating that I thought I was in labor, and then a knock on
the door. It wasn’t Nancy that walked in. I cannot remember her
name. I’ve only seen her once, and I think she was actually
supposed to be just passing through. I really liked her when I first
saw her. She reminds me of a really calm sweet hippy. Her hair is a
brown red, and curly, and she has this really calm voice. She asked
why I thought I might be in labor. I told her I was having
contractions and bloody discharge. She asked if I wanted to check. I
did, but I reminded her of the discharge. So I laid back and she
checked. It was uncomfortable during the contractions.
She said, “Yep, definitely in labor. You’re at 4-5 cm.” She was still checking when I thought she’d be done pretty quick. She said I was 90% effaced. She told me that baby handled the contractions very well.
She said, “Yep, definitely in labor. You’re at 4-5 cm.” She was still checking when I thought she’d be done pretty quick. She said I was 90% effaced. She told me that baby handled the contractions very well.
She told me I could
either go home, or run some errands, or head over to the hospital if
I wanted. I wasn’t sure at first, although I knew I didn’t want
to go home. I told her I’d walk over to the hospital.
So I updated Lindsey
and mom. Darcie had wanted to meet up with me after her dentist
appointment.
Lindsey asked if I’d
wanted anyone with me at my appointment, but I was finished already
and told her that I was going to waddle to the hospital. The
contractions were getting uncomfortable enough, that I didn’t want
to walk over. I could have. So she was on her way over. I sat down on
curb, at the edge of the parking lot of the doctor’s office to
wait. I got a bit uncomfortable so I got up and headed across the
parking lot, and was gunna walk up some steps and wait on the side
walk, but by then Lindsey pulled in. I didn’t notice Charlie in the
backseat until we were getting out at the hospital.
We went in the front doors. I told Lindsey I wanted to get something to eat cause I was starting to get shaky and hadn’t really eaten anything. I wanted to eat something before I couldn’t anymore.
We headed for the birthing center, then remembered we wanted to get something to eat so we headed to the cafeteria. I asked if Lindsey wanted anything or if Charlie wanted anything. I decided to just get a cheese stick and a chocolate milk. I wasn’t sure how much money was in my account, so I stuck with something little.
We went in the front doors. I told Lindsey I wanted to get something to eat cause I was starting to get shaky and hadn’t really eaten anything. I wanted to eat something before I couldn’t anymore.
We headed for the birthing center, then remembered we wanted to get something to eat so we headed to the cafeteria. I asked if Lindsey wanted anything or if Charlie wanted anything. I decided to just get a cheese stick and a chocolate milk. I wasn’t sure how much money was in my account, so I stuck with something little.
We headed back
toward the birthing center. Lindsey kept suggesting I stop during
contractions, that I didn’t have to keep walking, but we did
anyways (keep walking). The sign in the window of the nursery said 0
twins, I think 5 girls? And 3 boys? I can’t really remember, but I
think there were more girls than boys. We got to the counter and the
nurse asked how she could help us. I told her I needed to check in.
The computers were giving them some issues , or the nurse that was
helping me, had to step away. Another nurse came up, and asked if
we’d been helped, we answered yes, and the nurse that was
originally helping us, came back. We were led to room 17 (although I
didn’t know which room it was until later). In the room, I was
handed a robe to change into, and was told I could leave my bra and
underwear on if I wanted to (and I did). I think I chugged my
chocolate milk after we were in the room. I don’t remember if
midwife Lori came in and introduced herself before or after I had
changed. I had never met her before, and she said she normally worked
in Keizer. I was a little disappointed to have someone I’d never
met before. I was really hoping to get either Nancy, who I’d seen
the most at my appointments, or her daughter Molly, who I’d been
seeing the last couple weeks.
Lindsey was waiting for Keith to come get Charlie, but it was almost time for Elsie to get off the bus so she just ended up taking Charlie to Keith. I don’t remember if she was still there when I was getting hooked up to the fetal monitor and the IV in my arm. I had to get the IV for the group B step that I’d tested positive for at about 31 weeks. Or maybe it was 36 weeks. I can’t remember. I think the nurse tried my right arm first but then switched to my left arm, which is the arm they can usually get needles in. I got the IV in the side of my wrist.
Lindsey was waiting for Keith to come get Charlie, but it was almost time for Elsie to get off the bus so she just ended up taking Charlie to Keith. I don’t remember if she was still there when I was getting hooked up to the fetal monitor and the IV in my arm. I had to get the IV for the group B step that I’d tested positive for at about 31 weeks. Or maybe it was 36 weeks. I can’t remember. I think the nurse tried my right arm first but then switched to my left arm, which is the arm they can usually get needles in. I got the IV in the side of my wrist.
Sitting the bed was
really uncomfortable. I had to get up to use the restroom at least
twice. (The whole pregnancy, I had to pee constantly. For a while I
thought maybe I had a UTI, but there was never any pain, but I’d
have the urge to pee while I was at work, I’d go, and only like a
teaspoon would come out, then I’d have to pee like 20 minutes
later)
The nurses brought
in a big red labor ball (big ball you sit on while you’re in labor.
No pics, darn it :/) They asked if I wanted to try it, and
originally I didn’t really want to cause I didn’t think it’d
help, but once I was sitting on it, it really did help and I didn’t
want to get off of it. I think it was Lori that asked me if I’d
like her to bring me something little to eat, like toast. I said ok
to the toast and she asked if I wanted it with jam, butter or plain.
I got it with jam. I took like two or three bites out of it like a
half hour after she brought it, but each time I took a bite, and I’d
have a contraction, chewing was really irritating and I almost spit
out the last bite just to get it out of my mouth. By this time, the
contractions were a bit more uncomfortable, and rocking on the ball,
while my chest and arms were on the bed, was easier to manage. The
contractions were really different from the ones I had with Ari.
These ones seemed kind of quick. They lasted about 45 seconds or so I
think. But they also put a lot of pressure on my butt so it felt like
I had to poop a huge turd that just wouldn’t come out.
It almost felt like the babies head was trying to come out of my butt! Lol (Maybe that’s what helped him to come out so fast, because they always tell you to pretend like you’re going to take the biggest poop of your life, and because that’s what he felt like, he shot out like a bullet.
It almost felt like the babies head was trying to come out of my butt! Lol (Maybe that’s what helped him to come out so fast, because they always tell you to pretend like you’re going to take the biggest poop of your life, and because that’s what he felt like, he shot out like a bullet.
(Once I got the
epidural, it eased quite a bit, but there was still the poop
pressure, just not that bad, just until Kai was about to be born)
I had to get back
on the bed to be checked, and that’s when I could tell the ball
helped much better than just sitting there. I should have done that
with Ari!
When Lori checked
me this time, I was still at 5cm, which was a little disappointing,
but not surprising.
I got back on the
ball. I think Lindsey was back, and I know when I was back on the
ball, Darcie came. I was pretty uncomfortable at this point in time,
but I remember looking up at her as she walked in. I believe Lindsey
had already tried to give me a wet rag (that might have been when I
was on the bed, and I wanted to throw the rag.) (she told me later
that she was so worried and wanted to help me so bad but didn’t
know what to do. I think she did a darn good job and was being so so
sweet, even though I was irritated at the time!)
Lori would come in
pretty often to see how I was doing, and she’d praise me, and tell
me I was doing great and being so calm. She’d rub my back, and it
was nice.
Mom and Ari showed
up sometime after 4, I think.
(I checked my facebook later that night and found a message from Ari at 3:29. She said “Where are you?????” She knew I had my appointment, which normally she was able to go with me, and I wish she’d gone this time too, but I also knew that when I went into labor she was probably going to miss school. I found out that she’d gone to Juanita, our cat lady neighbor and asked if she knew where her mom was. Juanita asked if there was a note and Ari said she’d found a note but she didn’t understand it. It wasn’t a note for her, it was a note I wrote to put on our front door saying “Please call or text before you stop by. Don’t ring the door bell,” and “No visitors before 10am) Juanita said, I don’t think thats for you. She suggested maybe I was doing laundry.)
(I checked my facebook later that night and found a message from Ari at 3:29. She said “Where are you?????” She knew I had my appointment, which normally she was able to go with me, and I wish she’d gone this time too, but I also knew that when I went into labor she was probably going to miss school. I found out that she’d gone to Juanita, our cat lady neighbor and asked if she knew where her mom was. Juanita asked if there was a note and Ari said she’d found a note but she didn’t understand it. It wasn’t a note for her, it was a note I wrote to put on our front door saying “Please call or text before you stop by. Don’t ring the door bell,” and “No visitors before 10am) Juanita said, I don’t think thats for you. She suggested maybe I was doing laundry.)
I was really glad
when mom and Ari showed up. Ari looked a little nervous. She didn’t
say much. We’d look at each other every so often and smile at each
other.
Mom kept asking who
was texting me. I think I was texting Julie, Lee’s mom, and Lee,
just telling them that I was in the hospital and all hooked up, and a
couple times I was texting Darcie.
I’d packed a snack bag for Ari. There were little bags of chips, apple sauce, cheeze-its, cookies, capri-suns. Mom opened a bag of sour cream and onion Lays chips, while Ari opened a bag of Doritos. I remember mom telling me that she yelled at Sandy when she was in labor with me because she was eating Doritos and it was making her nauseous.
Ari eating the
Doritos was doing the same for me. I didn’t say anything to her
cause I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but it was kind of
grossing me out lol .
Julie was the room part of the time, although I would have been more comfortable if she wasn’t in the room while they would check me. (Hind sight, and how much she loves Caius, I'm actually glad she got to be there)
I think it was a
nurse that asked me if I’d like the epidural now. I was sitting on
the ball, still rocking back and forth. I decided to wait a little
bit longer. I thought that if I got it too soon, it’d wear off and
it’d be as if I never got it. (Editing this on 8/15/18 and what I think I should have been worried about or what I meant to be worried about was it being too late to have the epidural)
I don’t remember
what time Lee got there but I know we started talking about the name
Caius Jacob.
We hadn’t agreed
on a name at all until now. Mom and I had decided on the name a
couple days ago, but I was still unsure about the name Caius. I
wanted to just name him Jacob, but Lee didn’t like it.
I asked how he knew
about the name Caius Jacob, cause the last he heard, was the middle
name was going to be Mathias, and I was set on it. I wanted Jacob
Mathias. We almost landed on Henry, but I wanted Ari to have a say
too, and she really wanted his name to be Samuel. I liked Sammy and
Sam, but not so much Samuel. I had grown to like another name she
suggested, Asriel.
So as I was in
labor and having contractions, I was trying to make sure Lee liked
the name Caius Jacob. I mentioned that I know he didn’t like the
name Jacob, but I think he said it was ok since it was just the
middle name. I know a little bit later he came up to me as I was
sitting on the ball and said, what about the middle name Oliver. I
think I said yeah sure whatever. Or something like that. I guess mom
heard me, and she was kind of shocked because I was completely
against Oliver before, but I was so sick of fighting over what my
kid’s name was going to be.
I would have named him Jacob and the whole name thing would have been over long ago lol.
I remember there was a slight discussion on how it was going to be spelled, with a C or with a K. I liked how Caius was spelled with a C, but I liked the nickname Kai spelled with a K. But I think the main name was going to be spelled with a K, then I think it was Lee that said he liked how it was spelled with a C better, so it went back to that. Then I remember being on the ball, rocking through a contraction when I think it was Mom that asked if it was spelled with a C, or said she thought it was with a K, and with my head buried in my arms I said, “It was spelled with a K, until about 10 minutes ago”.
I would have named him Jacob and the whole name thing would have been over long ago lol.
I remember there was a slight discussion on how it was going to be spelled, with a C or with a K. I liked how Caius was spelled with a C, but I liked the nickname Kai spelled with a K. But I think the main name was going to be spelled with a K, then I think it was Lee that said he liked how it was spelled with a C better, so it went back to that. Then I remember being on the ball, rocking through a contraction when I think it was Mom that asked if it was spelled with a C, or said she thought it was with a K, and with my head buried in my arms I said, “It was spelled with a K, until about 10 minutes ago”.
Ari was being so
sweet and I was glad she didn’t seem to be freaked out, although
she did seem really quiet. She was holding my hand and stroking it
trying to make me feel better. (the hand that didn’t have an IV in
it) Around that time is when Lee got there (I can’t remember what
time that was, probably closer to 5:30) Lee told Ari, “your mom
doesn’t like to be petted, Ari.” (He said that because I told
him after he decided he was going to be in the room for the
birth---he’d told me back in June or July when I asked him if he
wanted to be in there, he said no. I was totally fine with that, but
mom said he needed to be in there. When I met his mom in July (on my
birthday I think) she told him he should be in there too. His dad
didn’t think there was any reason for him to be in there because
he’d just get in the way.) Anyways, Lee said that because when he
decided to be in the room, I didn’t want to be petted, and I wanted
him to be at my head, and that he could look down when the head was
coming out. So he assumed I didn’t like to be petted, which is
true, but I meant just my head. Don’t pet my head. Lol.
She’d come over to
my every so often and ask me, “how you doing freak?”
I think a while
later Lori came in and asked me if I’d like the epidural. That was
probably around 6ish? I told her I did want it, but I didn’t want
to get it too soon, that I was worried it would wear off too quickly.
Then as I was saying that I remembering that they could just put more
into the IV or however that works, and that’s what Lori ended up
telling me. So I opted to get the epidural now. She told me that if I
wanted, I needed to finish my toast now, cause after the epidural I
wouldn’t be able to eat anything until after birth. She said
something about if she let me eat it with the epidural she’d hear
about it later or something. So I said, no I was done with the toast.
Two new people came in pushing this big machine. One was the
anesthesiologist and the other, I’m not quiet sure who she was, but
she was pushing the machine.) I had to sit up with my legs hanging
over the side of the bed. They were very patient (every single one of
the nurses that I encountered would stop speaking while I was having
a contraction and they’d wait until it passed, before continuing to
talk) They explained everything about the epidural. I had to hold
really still. I had to arch my back while she put it in, and had to
tell her if I started tasting anything in my mouth. They put some
tape over the epidural and told me it’d take 5 to 10 minutes to
kick in. I definitely noticed when it started working. The
contractions had been pretty intense but not too horrible, especially
when I was rocking on the ball, but they were bad enough to where I
couldn’t talk through them, and I couldn’t focus on anyone
speaking to me.
I was a happy
camper after the epidural kicked in, and everyone (family) could tell
the difference. I was telling them about how the flashing “admit
baby” on the screen of the Panda warmer, irritated me cause I
thought it said “actual baby” and didn’t know why it said that.
I also had realized that it flashed once a second. I could hear the
clock ticking, and each tick, the “admit baby” sign flashed.
(Just something I remember about that day!)
Someone had turned
the tv on and there was a Harry Potter marathon on. (Twilight
marathon was gunna be on on Saturday)
Before I got the
epidural, I had to have catheter put in. There was a blond nurse that
had come in with small prepacked catheter. She explained what she was
going to do, then she sat down between my legs. It was pretty
uncomfortable as she tried to push the first cath tube in. She
apologized after a moment and said she’d be back, that she had to
get another one to try again. She came back and apologized again, as
she tried the second one.
She seemed confused as to why she couldn’t get it past a certain point, so she called in another nurse and asked her to bring in a catheter (she used a different term but that’s what it was) When the other nurse came in with the third catheter, they were both pondering what could cause the tube to stop at a certain point. They thought maybe the baby’s head was so low they couldn’t get it in, so they called in Lori to check to see how dilated I was. She had to really “get in there” (that kinda hurt!) and said it wasn’t the babies he head that was blocking the catheter cause he was still pretty far up there. So they had to try a third catheter. With each catheter they tried, I guess I would bleed a lot. I think I heard her say at least 15 ml of blood came out (I don’t know if that was each time they tried a catheter or total). I dunno how much that is but it sure was uncomfortable when they were trying to get it in! They finally got that third catheter in after just pushing it past that point of it stopping. (They’d asked if I had trouble peeing before, but other than going pee A LOT, there was no problem) I did tell them that I wondered sometimes if I had a UTI because I was peeing so so often (We’d go through at least 1 roll of toilet paper in two days, but since there was no pain, I figured it was just babies head pushing down on my bladder.) The catheter was finally in. The urge to pee was worse. I felt like when you do have a bladder infection and the urge to pee is there but you really can’t… do you know what I mean? They told me if I feel a trickling to let them know because it’ll most likely be my water breaking, not me peeing.
She seemed confused as to why she couldn’t get it past a certain point, so she called in another nurse and asked her to bring in a catheter (she used a different term but that’s what it was) When the other nurse came in with the third catheter, they were both pondering what could cause the tube to stop at a certain point. They thought maybe the baby’s head was so low they couldn’t get it in, so they called in Lori to check to see how dilated I was. She had to really “get in there” (that kinda hurt!) and said it wasn’t the babies he head that was blocking the catheter cause he was still pretty far up there. So they had to try a third catheter. With each catheter they tried, I guess I would bleed a lot. I think I heard her say at least 15 ml of blood came out (I don’t know if that was each time they tried a catheter or total). I dunno how much that is but it sure was uncomfortable when they were trying to get it in! They finally got that third catheter in after just pushing it past that point of it stopping. (They’d asked if I had trouble peeing before, but other than going pee A LOT, there was no problem) I did tell them that I wondered sometimes if I had a UTI because I was peeing so so often (We’d go through at least 1 roll of toilet paper in two days, but since there was no pain, I figured it was just babies head pushing down on my bladder.) The catheter was finally in. The urge to pee was worse. I felt like when you do have a bladder infection and the urge to pee is there but you really can’t… do you know what I mean? They told me if I feel a trickling to let them know because it’ll most likely be my water breaking, not me peeing.
The nurses and Lori
were having trouble getting the fetal monitor to get and keep the
babies heart beat on the monitor. I wasn’t concerned about that
part because in the appointments, the midwives had to push down with
the doppler to hear his heart, and a couple times in the last month
they had to push harder, and got faint/hidden heart beat. None of
these nurses knew that and since I’d never seen Lori before she
didn’t know either.
I’m not sure at
which point Kai’s heart rate would drop when I’d have
contractions. I do remember laying on my right side, or on my back,
and I was able to talk with mom, and Darcie and Lindsey as they sat
on the couch.
Lori told me she was
going to have me move to my left side because baby wasn’t liking me
being on my right side. So I had moved to my left side. It was hard
to move with the tubes, and then moving during the contractions was
difficult too.
They were messing
with the fetal monitor some more, and I just figured they were
worried that they couldn’t keep track of it.
Around 7 or so,
(guessing on the time here, but I know it was about an hour or so
before he was born) that someone (nurse or Lori) told me that they’d
like me to get on my hands and knees. Ugh! I didn’t want to move
anymore. It was too uncomfortable moving during contractions and I
didn’t want people seeing my big butt hanging loose
lol! I slowly sat up and maneuvered myself onto my knees. I could
hardly feel my legs, so that made it hard to move forward. They put
this big green ball that was oddly shaped so I could lean my chest
over it. One of the nurses (the pregnant one) stood on the right
side, and I heard Lori mention that I wanted to keep covered so no
one could see anything. If Lee’s mom weren’t in there (cause I'd only met her one time before the birth!), I
wouldn’t have minded as much (but then again I still would have!) I kept trying
to cover myself with the gown, and blanket, but then Lee came over
and held the blanket up for me like a curtain. I was like that for
about 10 minutes or so I think, before I went back to laying on my
back. I didn’t realize that baby was dropping with each
contraction, I just thought it was certain positions. At this point I
was still thinking they were just trying to get his heart rate to
stay on the fetal monitor.
Someone told me
that they were going to step out for a few minutes and if I felt
anything different, like a leaking sensation, to let them know as
soon as I felt it.
I remember calling
them back in at some point because I did feel something that felt
similar to when I was in labor with Ari, a trickling feeling. (When I
was in labor with Ari, I think my water broke while I was on the bed,
I didn’t feel it, but I do remember the pushing sensation and every
so often I felt like I was peeing my pants when i’d “push”)
So when I called
them back in, they checked (I don’t remember if it was a nurse or
Lori). It wasn’t my water, unfortunately. It was just discharge. I
was disappointed because it did feel more like a trickle.
It must have been
close to going on 8pm when Lori asked someone, I think maybe a nurse,
to step out so they could talk things over and see what they could
do. They were gone for about 5 minutes or so before coming back in.
That’s when Lori
came up to me on the left side of the bed and said, that they
discussed their options and decided that the best option was to do a
C-section. Now when she said this, I heard her, but it didn’t
register. I knew I didn’t want a Csection. I heard mom behind me
say “Oh man.” or “Oh no!”
I know that I said
something like, “Can’t we try something else.”
Lori told me
that the best thing to do because baby was in distress each time I
had a contraction was to get him out by c-section. I didn’t want to
argue with her, so I nodded and said ok. The reason I didn’t want
to have a c-section was because I had heard my mom’s stories plenty
of times to remember that the recovery time is a lot longer and you
can hardly function for a couple of weeks. I had too much at home
that couldn’t be put off for weeks. Getting Ari off to school,
taking the dogs out to the bathroom (bending over and picking up
their poop) cleaning litter boxes, and more.
They were talking
about getting Dr. Yang, an OB-GYN, to discuss things with him. I was
really really not wanting to have a c-section.
When Lori came back
in with the other nurses, she said that only one person was going to
be able to come with me. I wanted to choose mom and because I didn’t
say anything, Lee said he would go in. (Mom told me on 10-13-17, when
she was over, that she almost started crying because she started
thinking “what if something happened, and I died, and me being
wheeled out was the last time she ever saw me.” That made me feel
really bad, but I told her, I would have rather have had her in there
than Lee. (Sorry Lee!)
So I was told that
the on call doctor, Dr. Yang would be coming in to go over things
with me. I still couldn’t believe that I was going to have a
c-section. I was trying to imagine being wheeled off into some
operating room, and not being able to hold my baby for who knows how
long. I couldn’t help but thing about what Ari was thinking too. I
gave her a hug and said something like “I’ll see you in a little
bit.” And I love you, and I know I said something about either
going to have the baby cut out of me, or not wanting to be cut open,
but that I’d be fine. I didn’t want her to be scared though.
Dr. Yang came in
and I think Lori and him were talking for a moment, but then he
turned to me and started talking. I don’t remember much of what he
was saying to me because he’d keep talking through contractions. He
asked me if the epidural was working ok for me, and I said that it
was.
I know I must have
mentioned at least breaking my water or something like that. He
wanted to check me before they wheeled me away. Mom and Lee were
still in the room. I don’t remember if anyone else was still in
there.
Dr. Yang sat down
between my legs and checked me. That was painful. He didn’t really
warn me or anything. When Lori (and the other midwives) would check
me, they’d tell me I’d feel a touch on my leg, then they’d
check. Dr. Yang and his man hand just went right in, full force! He
announced that I was at 10 cm, and we would at least attempt a
natural birth. I think it was Dr. Yang that said everyone but one
person needed to clear out of the room. I asked Lori if two people
could stay, that I wanted my mom to stay. She said “Kathy, you can
stay.” I was so relieved by that.
I don’t remember
the details of what he said, whether he was going to pop my waters or
what. I do remember the mention of the vacuum. As everyone was
scrambling around, and talking or explaining what to do, I felt this
bulge so suddenly, that I thought it was the babies head right there.
It was the weirdest feeling ever. It lasted maybe 1 second, cause
then it popped and I felt a gush, and instantly knew that had to be
my water. I said, “Uh! My water just broke.” I don’t remember
if I said “oh my God.” first, because it was such a weird
feeling.
Very shortly after
that I felt instant pressure, like the contractions but even more
intense.
Dr. Yang was in
between my legs, and they were moving the end part of the bed away so
that the water and other after birth would fall into that and not all
over the floor or bed.
This next part all
happened so so fast.
I felt intense
pressure, and I felt the urge to push until Dr Yang put his fingers
along the sides of baby's head, and seemed to be trying to rip me in
half.
Obviously thats not what he was doing lol, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but his hands. The nurses and Lori, and maybe even Dr. Yang were all saying to push, and to put my chin to my chest. I kept saying “No, no, no! I can’t!” When his fingers weren’t in there, I felt like I could concentrate more and could have grabbed my own legs, which they did tell me to do, but I kept saying “No! I can’t!”. I tried to fight through the horrible tearing apart feeling and did put my chin to my chest, but I didn’t feel like I was doing that right. I heard mom behind me, or on the right side, slightly behind me, say “You’re doing good Jess”
Obviously thats not what he was doing lol, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but his hands. The nurses and Lori, and maybe even Dr. Yang were all saying to push, and to put my chin to my chest. I kept saying “No, no, no! I can’t!” When his fingers weren’t in there, I felt like I could concentrate more and could have grabbed my own legs, which they did tell me to do, but I kept saying “No! I can’t!”. I tried to fight through the horrible tearing apart feeling and did put my chin to my chest, but I didn’t feel like I was doing that right. I heard mom behind me, or on the right side, slightly behind me, say “You’re doing good Jess”
I did have Lee’s
hand for a little bit I think, and I was squishing it pretty good
from what I remember when Dr. Yang first put his fingers down there,
but I let go of his hand when they told me to grab my legs and push.
The tearing feeling
suddenly released a “pop” feeling, and I thought he was born, but
I think I heard someone say “His head it out!” and the pressure
was still there, then another “pop” feeling and everyone was
saying “He’s here! He’s out!” Then he was on my chest. I
heard someone say he’s a boy.
I don’t remember
Lee sasying much, he was standing right next to me.
I was trying to look
at the new little baby laying on my chest. I think he must have cried
at least a little bit cause Lindsey and Darcie said they all cried
(Ari had tears in her eyes) when they heard him cry. They’d all
been waiting just outside the door, waiting to see where I was
wheeled off to for my c-section when they said they heard them saying
push, push, and then he was out. He was born in two or three pushes.
He came so fast that he didn’t even have a weird shaped head, not
even a little ‘knob’ where he’d gone into the birth canal. The
doctor didn’t even have to use the vacuum (thank goodness!).
He seemed nice and
calm on my chest as Dr. Yang still worked on me. I felt him pulling
the cord, I felt it touching my area. I felt him still messing around
down there. You know, after the epidural wears off and you think
about either squeezing out another head, or you cringe when the nurse
explains to you, no sex for at least 6 weeks, cause the thought of
anything going back up there ever makes you ache… well that’s
kinda what it was like as he worked down there. He didn’t seem very
gentle. I could feel everything. I don’t know if they’d shut off
the epidural, or what was going on, cause when Caius was coming out,
there was so much pressure for one, which I know is normal, but I
feel like maybe the effects the epidural should have had were not
there.
The feeling of the
long cord coming out, was all there, then I felt the placenta. I
think I remember that somewhat hurting, or feeling almost like a
slightly smaller head coming out.
I wish I’d gotten
a picture of it. They are so weird/gross looking.
Dr. Yang explained
he needed to stitch me up because I’d torn, and I think I asked
what degree, and I don’t remember who answered but it was a 2nd
degree tear. I had a third degree tear with Ari, and the only time I
said “ow!” during labor with Ari, was when I got the shot of
lidocane to numb the area to get stitches. There was
none of that this time! He didn’t give me a shot, (which I didn’t
even realize until Lori had asked me how I felt about the delivery
and I was talking about the only time I said ‘ow’), he just
started stitching. I know I kept trying to move away. Not
completely, cause I knew I had to stay still, but I felt my bottom
half trying to cringe away. He said at least twice that he was almost
done, and it just kept coming! He kept pouring something down there,
that I felt the bubbling of it.
I think before he
left he may have congratulated me, and might have said I did a good
job, and then he left. (But I don’t remember, and I didn’t see
him at all after that.)
I think the put
Caius on my chest right away. I held on to him and tried looking at
him from my awkward angle. I know he cried a little at first and the
only reason why I know he did is because Lindsey and Darcie and Ari
all said he did, cause they heard him when he was born, and that’s
when they cried. (Julie had gone to the bathroom real quick, and when she came back, he was born!)
He was lightly
wrapped in a receiving blanket, and I had my hands on him. I didn’t
see his boy parts, but I know he was a boy cause someone said so. I
didn’t see that he was covered in the white gooey stuff at all. Ari
was caked in it along her back. It all went so so fast that I
vaguely remember people around me. I know Lee was next to me cause I
had squished his hand, but I had to ask mom where she was standing. I
felt like she was behind Lee, above my head, but she said she was
standing next to Lee so she saw Caius come out. I don’t know where
certain nurses were standing. I don’t know who clamped the cord,
but whoever it was, I remember them handing Lee scissors to cut the
cord.
A nurse (the one in
pictures doing Kai’s foot prints) asked if I wanted to see the
placenta before they got rid of it. (I remember thinking, as I looked
at it from a distance, that I wonder if they’re really going to
throw it away, or if they are going to use it for something that I
don’t know about-- Later that night or the next day, a nurse said
they were going to test his placenta, either because of his
temperature staying low, or some other reason) I kinda looked at it
(the placenta)… now I kinda wish I’d gotten a photo. I know that
sounds really weird, but just to record that part of my life I guess.
Mom was telling the nurse that she thought placentas looked gross.
The nurse said she thought they were pretty cool and interesting.
From the image in my head of Kai’s placenta, I think the cord was
thin looking.
I remember talking
to Kai a little bit as he laid on my chest. I tried lifting him a
little so mom could see him better. He was so little and I didn’t
want to accidentally drop him so I didn’t give anyone too good of a
look yet.
Lindsey popped her
head in about 5 or 10 minutes after Caius was born and asked if Ari
could come in. I said yes, and Lori said of course, but instead of
just Ari, everyone came in. (Darcie, Lindsey, and Julie) and I think
Shane was there at this point. On my birth plan that the midwives had me fill out, I wrote that for at least the first hour I only wanted, Ari, mom and Lee if he wanted to be in the room. Then other people could visit.
I had completely forgotten,
but later after mom and Ari left she told me Ari was really upset
that she didn’t get to hold the baby first like we’d planned.
That really upset me. I don’t remember who, besides me, got to hold
him first. It may have been Lee, which is fine, but Ari didn't get to hold him at all until the next day.
I kept saying that I
was itchy. I was told it was from the epidural and that it’d go
away soon. I told mom that it reminded me of when I drank cherry
pepsi and had an allergic reaction to it. (Without the swelling of my
tongue, and eyes)
I hope it wasn't too graphic for you and that you enjoyed reading!
Monday, January 8, 2018
Jan. 8, 2018
I went to bed too late last night! I always do that to myself! It was like 3:39 the last time I remember checking the clock. Caius woke up when I had gotten into bed before 3am. I got back in bed around 3:15.
He woke up at 5:49, for just a moment. I had gotten out of bed, ready to pick him up to go feed him but he'd gone back to sleep. Little booger!
I couldn't go back to sleep, cause my alarm was gunna go off in about 10 minutes. I sat at my little desk for a few minutes before going in to wake up Ari.
I got Ari's cereal for her, and had already had clothes laid out for her from folding laundry last night.
She decided she didn't want to wear those clothes that I had picked out which means she doesn't like them anymore, so I told her to leave them out of her drawers if she wasn't going to wear them anymore.
I was laying on the couch. Kai was still sleeping. Ari was sitting at the computer, she didn't seem to be doing anything.
I dosed off for a few minutes I guess, cause the next thing I knew, Ari was saying something, and she was opening the door. Glissa was here already! What the heck. It was only 6:13! (I'm very aware of time now lol)
Ari closed the door and got her shoes. I told her she could invite Glissa in. I don't remember what she said, but she complained about not being able to eat her cereal now. I told her she could invite Glissa and Faith (the other girl, and the reason why they leave for school so early lol)
I told her to eat breakfast at school, but I don't think she did.
She put on her sweat shirt and got her binder and backpack together and gave me a hug and kiss good bye. We said "I love you" and she left.
I think Caius had woken up before Ari left cause I think she gave him a kiss goodbye and he smiled at her.
This little dude didn't feel like going back to sleep just yet.
I had posted on Silverton Connections for sale, a lamp I had bought a few years ago at Ikea, two air plant bowls (they look like tiny goldfish bowls, but are used for air plants.) and some glass vases that I used for some betta fish that I'm give away just to get rid of them.
I also posted some twin comforters that used to be mine and Lindsey's when we were kids. We don't used them so I need them gone.
I sent messages to the two people who were interested in the plant bowls and the lamp. I was just going to leave them outside my door for them to pick up, because I was sure Kai would be napping, and then so would I.
I was so tired, and I had nursed Kai but he was still awake so I put him in his swing and laid in my bed.
I dosed off I guess cause I woke a little bit later (not much later!) to him whining a little. I should have left him cause he looked like he was ready to pass out, but I disturbed him and held him and he stayed awake!
We played a little bit and my eyes got heavier so after he fell asleep, I put him in his bed and, I'm sorry to say, I turned the baby monitor down until just one light (instead of 5) we lit up.
I laid on the couch, and put on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory and fell asleep for a bit. I woke up to him crying about two hours later.
Mom had text saying she wasn't coming over until after work, and said something about a half day. I didn't realize it was a half day. I made myself a PB&J sandwich and had a Pepsi.
After that I got Kai dressed. It was about 1ish I think. He wore a cute brown onesie, long sleeves, it had eyes on it with little ears, supposed to be a teddy bear, and some overalls over it. Super cute!
Ari got home shortly after 1:30.
Mom came over about 2:45 I think. Both of her ears were bothering her (usually it was just the left ear that always bothered her)
She had a doctor's appointment at 3:45.
We watched a documentary about Jim Carey playing Andy something. She ate some crackers lol... I'm just typing randomly now... but she really did eat some crackers. She left about 5 minutes before her appointment and I told her to text me and tell me what they say.
She ended up having a double ear infection and swollen tonsils.
Caius fell asleep around 4ish I think, and since mom had mentioned that it really smelled in Ari's room (Like cats--- we were using the Tidy Cats with Febreeze, which never smelled the way it did now. I won't use that again) So I went in and cleaned the litter box. The wall under the window was getting moldy along the base so I got the Lysol spray and sprayed that all down and scrubbed the walls. I moved the cat cage away from the freezer and under the window. I brought the vacuum back there to suck up all the hair (Sage is shedding the worst!) I moved the utility shelf (after taking all the heavy stuff off) and moved it where the cat cage used to be. (While I cleaned I put all the cats outside so they could get some fresh air and exercise)
I wanted Ari to go to the store with me, but she pretended to not feel good so she just stayed home. I was kind of annoyed about it cause I wanted her to help me out. So since she was staying home I told her she needed to take a shower.
So it was just me and Kai going to the store. I brought the cats in so they wouldn't try to follow us. I decided to make tacos for dinner. I bought tomatoes, lettuce, preshredded cheddar cheese, an onion, shrimp, imitation crab (for ceviche) cilantro and some taco chips and some honey nut Cheerios.
We got home (I left Kai in his seat) He did so good at the store. Usually he gets fussy and just wants to leave, but he just watched me the whole time. Well until we were checking out then he whined a little bit.
I took Kai out of his seat and set him in his rocker bed thing and faced him toward the kitchen so he could watch me. I put a pan on for the hamburger.
I took Kai out of his rocker thing and put him in his bumbo that Julie got him. He was so smiley and kinda watched me for a few minutes.
I thought Ari was still laying in her bed, but she was showering! Good job, Ari! I thought she had ignored that request, but she didn't.
I cut up the veggies and kind of did a "cooking show" video. It was just a goofy thing I was doing.
Kai got a little tired sitting in the Bumbo so I put him back in his rocker thing.
I dished up Ari's taco salad and realized I forgot olives. Darn it!
I tried to eat, but now Kai was getting whiney so I held him. Then tried to eat while holding him, but he wasn't having it! lol
So I tried to get him to sleep. I nursed him while rocking him then gave him his paci, but he fought it. He was tired though. He did finally fall asleep and I put him in his bed. I took a couple bites of my food and he woke up.
I finished dinner eventually after getting Kai back to sleep. I swaddled him and gave him his binky and he passed out. I wondered if swaddling would work but he didn't sleep very long in his bed. He's just a cat napper I guess.
After he woke up I got a bath ready for Kai. I gave him a bath a day or two ago in the bathroom, but tonight I was going to set his bath up in the kitchen sink. He seems to really like baths. I washed his hair, and his body and they he got out. I dried him off, powdered him and put on his diaper and PJs. He's at that hard stage where you don't really know what to do with them quite yet. He's not into toys. He likes to be held and nursed and sleep. So I think we watched some more youtube (which we've been doing on and off all day. Watching the Ballinger family vlog, along with PsychoSuprano, ColleensCorner... all one family... which is where I got the idea to swaddle Kai. They swaddled their new baby Duncan in one of their videos. He stretched and was all happy when he was unswaddled.) I nursed Kai and he fell asleep again. It was after 8:30.
I told Ari she had to feed the cats tonight. And the dogs.
After that she was getting ready for bed.
He woke up at 5:49, for just a moment. I had gotten out of bed, ready to pick him up to go feed him but he'd gone back to sleep. Little booger!
I couldn't go back to sleep, cause my alarm was gunna go off in about 10 minutes. I sat at my little desk for a few minutes before going in to wake up Ari.
I got Ari's cereal for her, and had already had clothes laid out for her from folding laundry last night.
She decided she didn't want to wear those clothes that I had picked out which means she doesn't like them anymore, so I told her to leave them out of her drawers if she wasn't going to wear them anymore.
I was laying on the couch. Kai was still sleeping. Ari was sitting at the computer, she didn't seem to be doing anything.
I dosed off for a few minutes I guess, cause the next thing I knew, Ari was saying something, and she was opening the door. Glissa was here already! What the heck. It was only 6:13! (I'm very aware of time now lol)
Ari closed the door and got her shoes. I told her she could invite Glissa in. I don't remember what she said, but she complained about not being able to eat her cereal now. I told her she could invite Glissa and Faith (the other girl, and the reason why they leave for school so early lol)
I told her to eat breakfast at school, but I don't think she did.
She put on her sweat shirt and got her binder and backpack together and gave me a hug and kiss good bye. We said "I love you" and she left.
I think Caius had woken up before Ari left cause I think she gave him a kiss goodbye and he smiled at her.
This little dude didn't feel like going back to sleep just yet.
I had posted on Silverton Connections for sale, a lamp I had bought a few years ago at Ikea, two air plant bowls (they look like tiny goldfish bowls, but are used for air plants.) and some glass vases that I used for some betta fish that I'm give away just to get rid of them.
I also posted some twin comforters that used to be mine and Lindsey's when we were kids. We don't used them so I need them gone.
I sent messages to the two people who were interested in the plant bowls and the lamp. I was just going to leave them outside my door for them to pick up, because I was sure Kai would be napping, and then so would I.
I was so tired, and I had nursed Kai but he was still awake so I put him in his swing and laid in my bed.
I dosed off I guess cause I woke a little bit later (not much later!) to him whining a little. I should have left him cause he looked like he was ready to pass out, but I disturbed him and held him and he stayed awake!
We played a little bit and my eyes got heavier so after he fell asleep, I put him in his bed and, I'm sorry to say, I turned the baby monitor down until just one light (instead of 5) we lit up.
I laid on the couch, and put on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory and fell asleep for a bit. I woke up to him crying about two hours later.
Mom had text saying she wasn't coming over until after work, and said something about a half day. I didn't realize it was a half day. I made myself a PB&J sandwich and had a Pepsi.
After that I got Kai dressed. It was about 1ish I think. He wore a cute brown onesie, long sleeves, it had eyes on it with little ears, supposed to be a teddy bear, and some overalls over it. Super cute!
Ari got home shortly after 1:30.
Mom came over about 2:45 I think. Both of her ears were bothering her (usually it was just the left ear that always bothered her)
She had a doctor's appointment at 3:45.
We watched a documentary about Jim Carey playing Andy something. She ate some crackers lol... I'm just typing randomly now... but she really did eat some crackers. She left about 5 minutes before her appointment and I told her to text me and tell me what they say.
She ended up having a double ear infection and swollen tonsils.
Caius fell asleep around 4ish I think, and since mom had mentioned that it really smelled in Ari's room (Like cats--- we were using the Tidy Cats with Febreeze, which never smelled the way it did now. I won't use that again) So I went in and cleaned the litter box. The wall under the window was getting moldy along the base so I got the Lysol spray and sprayed that all down and scrubbed the walls. I moved the cat cage away from the freezer and under the window. I brought the vacuum back there to suck up all the hair (Sage is shedding the worst!) I moved the utility shelf (after taking all the heavy stuff off) and moved it where the cat cage used to be. (While I cleaned I put all the cats outside so they could get some fresh air and exercise)
I wanted Ari to go to the store with me, but she pretended to not feel good so she just stayed home. I was kind of annoyed about it cause I wanted her to help me out. So since she was staying home I told her she needed to take a shower.
So it was just me and Kai going to the store. I brought the cats in so they wouldn't try to follow us. I decided to make tacos for dinner. I bought tomatoes, lettuce, preshredded cheddar cheese, an onion, shrimp, imitation crab (for ceviche) cilantro and some taco chips and some honey nut Cheerios.
We got home (I left Kai in his seat) He did so good at the store. Usually he gets fussy and just wants to leave, but he just watched me the whole time. Well until we were checking out then he whined a little bit.
I took Kai out of his seat and set him in his rocker bed thing and faced him toward the kitchen so he could watch me. I put a pan on for the hamburger.
I took Kai out of his rocker thing and put him in his bumbo that Julie got him. He was so smiley and kinda watched me for a few minutes.
I thought Ari was still laying in her bed, but she was showering! Good job, Ari! I thought she had ignored that request, but she didn't.
I cut up the veggies and kind of did a "cooking show" video. It was just a goofy thing I was doing.
Kai got a little tired sitting in the Bumbo so I put him back in his rocker thing.
I dished up Ari's taco salad and realized I forgot olives. Darn it!
I tried to eat, but now Kai was getting whiney so I held him. Then tried to eat while holding him, but he wasn't having it! lol
So I tried to get him to sleep. I nursed him while rocking him then gave him his paci, but he fought it. He was tired though. He did finally fall asleep and I put him in his bed. I took a couple bites of my food and he woke up.
I finished dinner eventually after getting Kai back to sleep. I swaddled him and gave him his binky and he passed out. I wondered if swaddling would work but he didn't sleep very long in his bed. He's just a cat napper I guess.
After he woke up I got a bath ready for Kai. I gave him a bath a day or two ago in the bathroom, but tonight I was going to set his bath up in the kitchen sink. He seems to really like baths. I washed his hair, and his body and they he got out. I dried him off, powdered him and put on his diaper and PJs. He's at that hard stage where you don't really know what to do with them quite yet. He's not into toys. He likes to be held and nursed and sleep. So I think we watched some more youtube (which we've been doing on and off all day. Watching the Ballinger family vlog, along with PsychoSuprano, ColleensCorner... all one family... which is where I got the idea to swaddle Kai. They swaddled their new baby Duncan in one of their videos. He stretched and was all happy when he was unswaddled.) I nursed Kai and he fell asleep again. It was after 8:30.
I told Ari she had to feed the cats tonight. And the dogs.
After that she was getting ready for bed.
Top 10 dogs I would like to own. 10 dog breeds I'd never own.
I'd seen a blog someone had done about their top 10 dogs they'd never own.
I'm going to do that also, but first I want to do the top 10 dogs I DO want to own and why.
Updating in June 30, 2023
1 Toy/mini Aussie
2. English Springer Spaniel
3 Beagle/Lab mix
4 Lab
5Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
6 Chihuahua
7 Pom
8
Updating Feb. 2020
My list changed again.
1. Labradoodle/Goldendoodle
2. Vizsla
3. Toy Aussie/small mini
4. Boston Terrier
5. German Shepherd/Rottweiler mix
6. Labrador- fox red,
7. Golden Retriever
8.
1.) Tamaskan Dog-
I first found out about this breed about a year and a half ago. There were only 1 or 2 breeders in the U.S. the others were in other countries. I loved their look, but they are expensive and rare.
Recently, I wanted to look them up again. I found a lot more breeders in the U.S and more in other countries.
I like the attention a beautiful dog draws to me. (like Zoe!)
Cons in having one of these dogs would be cost. You can expect to pay upwards of $1,000 (usually more) And most likely shipping costs too.
This dog is from a breeder in the US (Hawthorn Tamaskans)
New #1 breed would be a Fox red lab.
2.) Nehi Saint Bernard
A Nehi saint bernard is pretty much a mix breed. There is only one breeder of these dogs.
They are half saint bernard and half cocker spaniel.
They get up to 60 pounds, rather then the 150+ pounds.
I can't remember how I found them, but I'd like to own one. Unless this breeder plans on breeding for a long time, then this might be a breed I won't be able to own.
This is one of the better looking Mini Saint Bernards from Dakota Wind's Nehi Saint bernards
Updated #2 dog would be another toy Aussie
3.)Saint Bernard
I've wanted a saint Bernard since 2006ish. The first saint Bernard I ever met, named Sebastian. I remember the day I met him. First he was in the backyard, then somebody let him in. He was about 3 feet tall, and came rushing into the house right toward me, Ari and Darcie (We were at her uncle's house) He was HUGE. From that day, I was amazed by them.
I hadn't seen one for years, and was looking to get a second dog (before Jack) and went to a breeder's house in Estacada, Oregon. She didn't have any puppies yet, but she had a three year old female named Felicity that she offered me. She had 3 dogs (of a few) inside the house. They were enormous!
Their feet were bigger then my hand. I decided at that point, with the smell of her dogs, and the size of them, I would wait until I had a bigger house. I'll definitely have a short haired saint Bernard.
The cons of owning this dog, could be the smell, drool and the hair.
#3 would be a viszla
4.) Labrador Retriever
As a kid, I wanted a chocolate lab.
But now I'd like a fox red lab. Or yellow. Or chocolate. I like all of the colors. I like the purebred labs, with the blocky look. Thinner faced labs are sweet, but again, the beauty and look of the dog matters to me! I also prefer a yellow lab with a liver colored nose over black (just like the dog Yellow, from the movie Far From Home (pictured below)
I'm like a guy at a car show, but with dogs.
They are great family dogs. Protective, love to play and usually love more people.
Yellow from Far From Home: Adventures of Yellow Dog (he also played Boomer in Independence Day!)
Fox red lab
Chocolate lab
#4 would be a pug
5.) Golden Retriever
Ever since we found a Golden Retriever that was wondering (in Mt. Angel) I've wanted a golden retriever. We called this one Max. I never did find out what his real name was.
We had him for several days, until our land lords came home and ordered me to get rid of it. I had to take him to the police station. He was awesome.
They are the perfect All American dog (to me lol) "Perfect" families own them. They fetch, they love most anyone. I haven't really done much research on the breed, so I don't know of any faults (other then possible health problems)
I guess one con (for me) would be that they are a "plain" dog. A lot of people see them, they aren't "Show stoppers" if you wanna say that. (Same with Labs)
6.) Shiba Inu
Similar to an Akita (which I also find very pretty, but a difficult, aloof dog)
They are smaller then the Akita. From what I've read/heard, they are stand offish of strangers.
But they are a beautiful dog, and I wouldn't mind owning one.
I really prefer this color, which is considered Sesame Red. (The black ticking is what I like)
#7 would be a French bulldog
7.) Kai Ken Dog
Another rare breed. Probably expensive. But somewhat like the Shiba Inu, I love the prick ears and curled tail. I love the mostly black look.
I found this breed when I was on Pintrest.
I don't know too much about this type of dog.
#7 would be a shiba inu
8.) Rottweiler
Another large breed. I just find them to be a beautiful dog. I've wanted one since i was about 13ish. I won't say for sure that i will have one because they are so big.
9.) French Bulldog
I've wanted a French bulldog since highschool. I remember sitting the library at school, looking up pictures and info on the breed, and even printing out the gray-scale photos.
(same time I wanted a pug too)
They are short, small, stocky and just plain cute. Definite attention grabber dogs.
Con would be the price and them being unhealthy. And they fart. lol
10.) Viszla
10 Dog Breeds that I will never own-
1. ANCD/ wolf-dogs-
For about 4 years I wanted an Alaskan Noble Companion Dog. The breeder (the one and only breeder) talks these dogs up like they are the most perfect dog. And she had me (along with A LOT of other people, or all the other people that want, wanted, or own one) fooled. I was discovered that the dogs are not just dogs that look like wolves, they are mid content wolfdogs! Even though the breeder says, no absolutely no wolf is in these dogs. So, after joining a facebook page for current owners, prospective owners and such, and reading stories from people who already have this dog, I decided, sadly I will never ever own one. I was so disappointed, because I had been looking forward to owning one for so long. I was even planning on sending a deposit in March 2017, until I found out I was pregnant haha
2. Dachshund
These dogs are really cute, especially as puppies, but they bark so much and so loudly. And almost every single one that I've met is snappy.
3. Chihuahua (or any chi mix)
Same as above. Except they shake, they seem too fragile, and nippy.
4. Shih Zhu
These dogs are really cute, but they require too much grooming.
5. Pomeranian
These dogs are adorable. My upstairs neighbor's dad is living with her and he has one, a black and white one named Jackson, but it barks at everything. I can't open my front or back door with out setting it off. My grandparent's had one and he was a nippy little thing.
6. Chow Chow
These dogs are really cute too, and I love that panda look that some people give them, but a lot of groomers won't even see them because they are too aggressive. I don't want a dog that is too iffy about being around strangers. I want a dog that I can trust around other people and dogs and other living creatures.
7. Akita
Gorgeous dogs! But another dog you have to be aware of around strangers. I don't want to go jail for having my dog attack someone. Yes I know you had to socialize any dog that you get but an Akita owner once told me they are like a loaded gun, its a matter of time... I don't need that kind of stress in my life haha
8. Poodle (any size)
I do like the standard size poodles, but the grooming would be too much for me. I do like the idea of having a dog that doesn't shed.
The little ones bark too much. And the grooming thing.
9. pitbull
Beautiful dogs. But, I don't like the stigma around them, and how certain people look at pit owners for having them. Its just too much.
10. African boer boel (can't remember how to spell that!)
Another pretty dog, but much too powerful for me.
Jan 7, 2018
Kai woke up around 5ish. I nursed him and we went back to bed. I knew we'd be awake before 9:30 so I didn't set my alarm. We were up at like 9:15ish. I fed Kai again. Then changed his diaper and got him dressed in this cute little outfit that had fake suspenders and a bow tie.
I went in and woke Ari. She tried to talk me into letting her stay home tomorrow. I said no like 20 times, then said, Ok, you can stay home but I'm taking your Kindle. I knew that was why she wanted to stay home, then she explained she had a really good idea that she wanted to work on so that's why. So I said, no you can do it when we got home.
I got a text from mom. She apparently tried to text me last night but I didn't get it. She told me that both her ears were hurting her now and she wasn't going to church. I sent her a picture of Kai in his cute outfit.
Ari never did get out of bed, I'm not quite sure when she woke up, cause when Kai fell asleep around 11:40 ish I took a nap on the couch. He woke up a short time later. I was a little frustrated because it wasn't very long. Let's say I started Willy Wonka (on Netflix) and woke up when all the ticket winners were seeing the chocolate factory for the first time (you know where they can eat everything) So I brought Kai out and we reclined on the couch. We fell asleep and slept on and off until just before 3!! Talk about a lazy day!
I've had a bag of laundry sitting in my living room for like two weeks. And two baskets in my room sorted but not put away. So I sorted clothes. I put Ari's in one basket, and sorted Kai's clothes, from pants, to clothes to hang up to onesies (and socks) Caius had been sleeping, then he woke up while I was in the middle of sorting... I don't even bother to fold it anymore. Ain't nobody got time for that!
Kai laying on the couch like the whole time just watching me, being so calm.
Ari put her clothes away, and I hung up Kai's clothes and put his pants away.
I fed the cats and dogs.
I went in and woke Ari. She tried to talk me into letting her stay home tomorrow. I said no like 20 times, then said, Ok, you can stay home but I'm taking your Kindle. I knew that was why she wanted to stay home, then she explained she had a really good idea that she wanted to work on so that's why. So I said, no you can do it when we got home.
I got a text from mom. She apparently tried to text me last night but I didn't get it. She told me that both her ears were hurting her now and she wasn't going to church. I sent her a picture of Kai in his cute outfit.
Ari never did get out of bed, I'm not quite sure when she woke up, cause when Kai fell asleep around 11:40 ish I took a nap on the couch. He woke up a short time later. I was a little frustrated because it wasn't very long. Let's say I started Willy Wonka (on Netflix) and woke up when all the ticket winners were seeing the chocolate factory for the first time (you know where they can eat everything) So I brought Kai out and we reclined on the couch. We fell asleep and slept on and off until just before 3!! Talk about a lazy day!
I've had a bag of laundry sitting in my living room for like two weeks. And two baskets in my room sorted but not put away. So I sorted clothes. I put Ari's in one basket, and sorted Kai's clothes, from pants, to clothes to hang up to onesies (and socks) Caius had been sleeping, then he woke up while I was in the middle of sorting... I don't even bother to fold it anymore. Ain't nobody got time for that!
Kai laying on the couch like the whole time just watching me, being so calm.
Ari put her clothes away, and I hung up Kai's clothes and put his pants away.
I fed the cats and dogs.
Jan, 6 2018
Lee visited. He came over after 1pm. He had orientation at Safeway in Wilsonville today. He was just starting. (He was working at Chevron in Woodburn)
He played with Kai for a little bit, until he got hungry.
We had just dished up some left over spaghetti for lunch. I didn't get to eat mine yet.
He played with Kai for a little bit, until he got hungry.
We had just dished up some left over spaghetti for lunch. I didn't get to eat mine yet.
Jan 5, 2018
I didn't set my alarm clock cause I was just going to let Ari stay home.
I did go in her room last night after she was already in bed to tell her that I thought she should go to school cause I had lunch plans with Dawn and I didn't want her to stay home by herself. She said she was fine with staying by herself. I just felt bad cause I feel like I'm more ready to leave her home now, since Kai has been born. I never leave her more than a couple hours at the most.
At 6:47 the dogs started barking like crazy. I realized that someone was the door. I knew it was Glissa. I told her and her friend that Ari wasn't going to school, but that she'd be going on Monday. Then I crawled back into bed. I knew Kai would be waking up real soon. (He'd woken up at 5:15, and I knew he'd be waking up again in an hour or so. I was right. He woke up some time after 7, close to 8. I got up and fed him and he fell back to sleep. I wondered if I should set my alarm clock for 9:30 cause Dawn was gunna be here at 10:30. I knew Kai wouldn't sleep until 10, so I didn't.
He woke up at 9:50! We got up and I fed Caius, then I got him changed and dressed. I had done my hair, and had put my shirt on when Dawn showed up.
Zoe was scared of Dawn so I put her in her crate with Jack. I got a bottle for Caius, and grabbed my coat, wallet and diaper bag. Got Kai in his seat and we were off (after I went pee)
We gossiped on the way to Sushi Kyo.
We had lunch, then headed to Hobby Lobby. Kai had a melt down in the car. He really doesn't like car rides but it was also his nap time (just about noon or after noon) I gave him his bottle once he got out of the car, and he eventually just passed out.
Hobby Lobby store was amazing! I wanted almost everything in there! That's one place I'd go on a shopping spree at, or if I won the lottery I'd get a lot of stuff from there.
We headed home, not buying anything.
I had asked Ari if she wanted me to get her anything from sushi kyo (I even asked her if she wanted to go, but she decided to stay)
I brought her home a rice thing with shrimp on it, but I also brought her home this other thing that had sweet sauce on top with shrimp, then inside, salmon and cream cheese and something else. She didn't eat any of it, so I ate it all haha.
I did go in her room last night after she was already in bed to tell her that I thought she should go to school cause I had lunch plans with Dawn and I didn't want her to stay home by herself. She said she was fine with staying by herself. I just felt bad cause I feel like I'm more ready to leave her home now, since Kai has been born. I never leave her more than a couple hours at the most.
At 6:47 the dogs started barking like crazy. I realized that someone was the door. I knew it was Glissa. I told her and her friend that Ari wasn't going to school, but that she'd be going on Monday. Then I crawled back into bed. I knew Kai would be waking up real soon. (He'd woken up at 5:15, and I knew he'd be waking up again in an hour or so. I was right. He woke up some time after 7, close to 8. I got up and fed him and he fell back to sleep. I wondered if I should set my alarm clock for 9:30 cause Dawn was gunna be here at 10:30. I knew Kai wouldn't sleep until 10, so I didn't.
He woke up at 9:50! We got up and I fed Caius, then I got him changed and dressed. I had done my hair, and had put my shirt on when Dawn showed up.
Zoe was scared of Dawn so I put her in her crate with Jack. I got a bottle for Caius, and grabbed my coat, wallet and diaper bag. Got Kai in his seat and we were off (after I went pee)
We gossiped on the way to Sushi Kyo.
We had lunch, then headed to Hobby Lobby. Kai had a melt down in the car. He really doesn't like car rides but it was also his nap time (just about noon or after noon) I gave him his bottle once he got out of the car, and he eventually just passed out.
Hobby Lobby store was amazing! I wanted almost everything in there! That's one place I'd go on a shopping spree at, or if I won the lottery I'd get a lot of stuff from there.
We headed home, not buying anything.
I had asked Ari if she wanted me to get her anything from sushi kyo (I even asked her if she wanted to go, but she decided to stay)
I brought her home a rice thing with shrimp on it, but I also brought her home this other thing that had sweet sauce on top with shrimp, then inside, salmon and cream cheese and something else. She didn't eat any of it, so I ate it all haha.
Jan. 4, 2018
Last night I told Ari she had a doctor's appointment and might possibly get shots.
That was a mistake, cause this morning she begged and begged for me to let her stay home and rest.
I told her no repeatedly that she can't just miss school for no reason and that she might not even get shots today.
She got Kai out of his swing and held him for a few minutes, and then came up to me and said "Please, I want to stay home and play with Caius and help you get stuff done."
I still said no. I knew that was just a way to try to get me to let her stay home. She had tears running down her face and she was crying and upset. She handed Kai to me.
I knew she was stressed out and I really did feel for her, but I told her, and kept telling her there was nothing to stress about that her appointment wasn't even until after school and so on.
Then I asked her if she told Glissa she wasn't going to school today cause it was going on 6:45 and Glissa was normally there around 6:30 ish. Right before I was about to lecture her on if she told Glissa not to come the door bell rang.
Then Ari got more upset because now she really did have to go. She answered the door a few seconds later, she had to compose herself first. She cracked the door and said "I'll be out in a minute" then closed it.
She was mad, and she was done talking to me. I said I love you when she was leaving, but I didn't really hear if she responded to me.
I think I watched some youtube with Caius. I showed him "Gangnam style" and "What does the fox say" music videos. He's not old enough to react, but he seemed interested for the most part. He stared at it the whole time.
I think I started watching some Miranda Sings videos too. I watched until he started getting fussy and tired again.
I may have nursed him, then we went to sleep.
We left the house just before 3pm. We were gunna meet Ari at the corned of 2nd st and C st.
I saw some kids headed my way (walking down C st.) so I headed down that way. I decided to stand next to the Mexican restaurant. I had seen Ari walking across the street with some friends. She walked right by me while I stood next to the restaurant. She didn't even see me! (She later said she noticed someone standing there but she didn't know it was me, cause she didn't look)
I decided to follow her and her friends like a creeper. I followed them for a while before they noticed me.
Ari said she needed to go home to change her pad.... she was on her 2nd ever menstral cycle!
I was kind of annoyed cause I didn't want to walk back home then back again.
But we did it.
We walked the same route we used to walk to go to my prenatal appointments. I told Ari I kinda missed walking to the doctors. I didn't appreciate those appointments when I had them. It kinda makes me sad now, like teary eyed lol. (More on this in my pregnancy/birth of Caius story)
We made it to the doctor's office, and checked in. We didn't wait for too long before we got called back. The nurse that called us back, was the same horrible one that told mom "I didn't even want to go in the room with Ari" because I had asked Ari if she wanted me to go with her, trying to give her that choice, I knew she would want me to go and of course I wanted to go. I shouldn't have even asked. What the heck. Anyways, I tried to act more confident this time around.
Ari got weighed, meausure. She was 5.1, and weighed 125lbs and then they took her blood pressure. Asked a bunch of questions. Then the doctor came in and he asked some questions. He was talking and the Kai started pooping on my lap haha. That was funny.
The three shots she had to get was a tetanus, HPV and ummm TDap? I can't remember that last one, I'll have to look it up. She did great. The last one, which the nurse did warn her, was more painful than the first two which were done in her right arm. Now she's pretty much done with her shots. She does have to come back in two months for another HPV shot and then another 6 months for it again.
We headed home. We planned on having Subway for dinner since I had coupons. I got my normal chicken, bacon and ranch sandwich on Italian herbs and cheese bread, with mayo, spinach, pickles, (I forgot the cucumbers!) olives, lettuce, oh yeah and cheddar cheese with a dash of salt and Ari had her normal 6 inch turkey on white. She has mayo, cheddar cheese, tomatoes and lettuce and that's it.
We stopped at the store to grab some stuff. We were going mainly to get some chicken thighs and rice-a-roni, but then I remembered I had all that at home. I don't remember what we ended up buying.
We got home and put away the groceries. I think we got some milk and pop. (We bought a case of pop)As I sat down, I said to Ari "Watch, as soon as I unwrap this sandwich and am about to take a bite, he's going to wake up!"
Sure enough! I sat down and started to unwrap my sandwich, and Kai, who was still in his carseat in the stroller, started grunting. So I got him out and held him for a few minutes before putting him in his little bed thing next to me.
I opened my soda, and picked up half of my sandwich, and cooed at Kai. "Can I eat one half of my sandwich please." In a happy squeaky voice. He smiled at me and I took a bite. Then I took a swig of the Pepsi.
I belch and out of the corner of my eyes I saw Kai's arms fling out, startled. I laughed so hard. I scared him! "Did I scare you!?" I asked.
He smiled real big.
I belched at least three more times, not thinking and he jumped every time. The 3rd or 4th time though he started crying and I scooped him up and cuddled him saying "it's ok"
I belched once more to try and get him jumping on camera. (I know, mean mommy!)
Ari asked if she could stay home tomorrow if her arms were hurting her. I said "We'll see"
I thought if I said yes right off the bat, she'd plan on her arms hurting tomorrow whether they did or not haha.
I knew she'd end up staying home tomorrow, but I made go to bed at 9 anyways.
I did my nightly chores (Ari is supposed to be helping me out, 1, because they are her pets too, but also because she wants a ferret and is supposed to be proving herself to me that she can and will take care of her pets without me reminding her... I've stopped reminding her and decided no more pets for a long time)
I fed the cats. I've got them on this wet/canned food diet. They've been on it for about two or three weeks now. I think Sage is losing some weight (She weighs about 15 pounds!)
I cleaned out the litter box and fed the dogs, after taking them out to the bathroom.
That was a mistake, cause this morning she begged and begged for me to let her stay home and rest.
I told her no repeatedly that she can't just miss school for no reason and that she might not even get shots today.
She got Kai out of his swing and held him for a few minutes, and then came up to me and said "Please, I want to stay home and play with Caius and help you get stuff done."
I still said no. I knew that was just a way to try to get me to let her stay home. She had tears running down her face and she was crying and upset. She handed Kai to me.
I knew she was stressed out and I really did feel for her, but I told her, and kept telling her there was nothing to stress about that her appointment wasn't even until after school and so on.
Then I asked her if she told Glissa she wasn't going to school today cause it was going on 6:45 and Glissa was normally there around 6:30 ish. Right before I was about to lecture her on if she told Glissa not to come the door bell rang.
Then Ari got more upset because now she really did have to go. She answered the door a few seconds later, she had to compose herself first. She cracked the door and said "I'll be out in a minute" then closed it.
She was mad, and she was done talking to me. I said I love you when she was leaving, but I didn't really hear if she responded to me.
I think I watched some youtube with Caius. I showed him "Gangnam style" and "What does the fox say" music videos. He's not old enough to react, but he seemed interested for the most part. He stared at it the whole time.
I think I started watching some Miranda Sings videos too. I watched until he started getting fussy and tired again.
I may have nursed him, then we went to sleep.
We left the house just before 3pm. We were gunna meet Ari at the corned of 2nd st and C st.
I saw some kids headed my way (walking down C st.) so I headed down that way. I decided to stand next to the Mexican restaurant. I had seen Ari walking across the street with some friends. She walked right by me while I stood next to the restaurant. She didn't even see me! (She later said she noticed someone standing there but she didn't know it was me, cause she didn't look)
I decided to follow her and her friends like a creeper. I followed them for a while before they noticed me.
Ari said she needed to go home to change her pad.... she was on her 2nd ever menstral cycle!
I was kind of annoyed cause I didn't want to walk back home then back again.
But we did it.
We walked the same route we used to walk to go to my prenatal appointments. I told Ari I kinda missed walking to the doctors. I didn't appreciate those appointments when I had them. It kinda makes me sad now, like teary eyed lol. (More on this in my pregnancy/birth of Caius story)
We made it to the doctor's office, and checked in. We didn't wait for too long before we got called back. The nurse that called us back, was the same horrible one that told mom "I didn't even want to go in the room with Ari" because I had asked Ari if she wanted me to go with her, trying to give her that choice, I knew she would want me to go and of course I wanted to go. I shouldn't have even asked. What the heck. Anyways, I tried to act more confident this time around.
Ari got weighed, meausure. She was 5.1, and weighed 125lbs and then they took her blood pressure. Asked a bunch of questions. Then the doctor came in and he asked some questions. He was talking and the Kai started pooping on my lap haha. That was funny.
The three shots she had to get was a tetanus, HPV and ummm TDap? I can't remember that last one, I'll have to look it up. She did great. The last one, which the nurse did warn her, was more painful than the first two which were done in her right arm. Now she's pretty much done with her shots. She does have to come back in two months for another HPV shot and then another 6 months for it again.
We headed home. We planned on having Subway for dinner since I had coupons. I got my normal chicken, bacon and ranch sandwich on Italian herbs and cheese bread, with mayo, spinach, pickles, (I forgot the cucumbers!) olives, lettuce, oh yeah and cheddar cheese with a dash of salt and Ari had her normal 6 inch turkey on white. She has mayo, cheddar cheese, tomatoes and lettuce and that's it.
We stopped at the store to grab some stuff. We were going mainly to get some chicken thighs and rice-a-roni, but then I remembered I had all that at home. I don't remember what we ended up buying.
We got home and put away the groceries. I think we got some milk and pop. (We bought a case of pop)As I sat down, I said to Ari "Watch, as soon as I unwrap this sandwich and am about to take a bite, he's going to wake up!"
Sure enough! I sat down and started to unwrap my sandwich, and Kai, who was still in his carseat in the stroller, started grunting. So I got him out and held him for a few minutes before putting him in his little bed thing next to me.
I opened my soda, and picked up half of my sandwich, and cooed at Kai. "Can I eat one half of my sandwich please." In a happy squeaky voice. He smiled at me and I took a bite. Then I took a swig of the Pepsi.
I belch and out of the corner of my eyes I saw Kai's arms fling out, startled. I laughed so hard. I scared him! "Did I scare you!?" I asked.
He smiled real big.
I belched at least three more times, not thinking and he jumped every time. The 3rd or 4th time though he started crying and I scooped him up and cuddled him saying "it's ok"
I belched once more to try and get him jumping on camera. (I know, mean mommy!)
Ari asked if she could stay home tomorrow if her arms were hurting her. I said "We'll see"
I thought if I said yes right off the bat, she'd plan on her arms hurting tomorrow whether they did or not haha.
I knew she'd end up staying home tomorrow, but I made go to bed at 9 anyways.
I did my nightly chores (Ari is supposed to be helping me out, 1, because they are her pets too, but also because she wants a ferret and is supposed to be proving herself to me that she can and will take care of her pets without me reminding her... I've stopped reminding her and decided no more pets for a long time)
I fed the cats. I've got them on this wet/canned food diet. They've been on it for about two or three weeks now. I think Sage is losing some weight (She weighs about 15 pounds!)
I cleaned out the litter box and fed the dogs, after taking them out to the bathroom.
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