Friday, Sept, 7, 2012.

We walked to school and I dropped off Ari.

I tried to lay back down to bed, but didn't really feel tired. I just kept thinking of things that needed to be done, so I got up and dinked around a little. Started painting the banner for Ari's birthday. Mom showed up and we talked about the trip a little.

this is the dryers cord... it was mostly on the floor, easy access to rabbits and kittens)



This was from the washer. This was about a foot or so off the ground. The black marks are from where little Thomas was---- the mess was from under the washer and dryer!!  

Eddy came over to look at the wires on my washer and dryer. They both needed to be replaced. Foofy and chewed up the wire on the dryer so bad I'm soooo surprised he was killed by getting shocked... he'd also chewed up the washer one as well. What baffles me is how the poor kitten was the unlucky one.

Anyways, we went to get Ari at 2:30. I walked into the gym to get her and she yelled at me!! I fotgot to give her her "necklace" thing. It was a yarn thing with paper attached that says she's a pick up student. She was supposed to take it back everyday, and she had taken it back everyday except this friday... I felt so bad cause she started crying. She didn't get a sticker today, and she needed 5 stickers to get a prize she'd wanted. I think she said it was a panda picture or something.
They learned more about bugs and they painted some pictures of bugs too.

I worked at 3-7 today.

Day 8- something you're currently worrying about

Well a few things...


I'm worrying about how many people will show up to Ari's birthday party. Will anyone remember to come?
Will it rain?

Will we have enough money for this trip we are going on? I know we will but will it be "OK" but will we be short and have to skip out on anything?


Will I be able to find a car before it gets to cold and dark in the morning?



I know the answer to all of these.Yes. The party will be fine.

The trip will be fine. We will have enough money. Nothing to splurg but that's ok.

I will eventually get a car. We will be walking when it's cold and darker in the morning but we will be fine.

Day 7- Your opinion on cheating on people

I think that if you're with someone you should and need to be committed to that person. Whether you're married or just dating shouldn't matter.

If you feel the need to cheat you shouldn't be in a relationship.

This is where jealousy comes from! lol...

I have mixed ideas on whether people are supposed to be like penguins and mate for life (a monogamous relationship) and whether a guy should be able to have multiple partners. "Spreading his seed i guess"
But then again I'm a person who would want the one guy to myself, not sharing what so ever!
So I supposed, with us being a 'free' country, if someone or a few people want to be in a multiple partner relationship, then why not as long as they are responsible about it. Not just "screwing" and leaving, spreading nasty-ness.

I'm getting totally off subject lol...

If you're going to cheat or are cheating just get of the relationship. Don't screw up your families life with your stupidness. Don't be a home-wrecker and screw a married person just cause they are "hot" you sleeze bag!

Day 6- the person you like and why you like them

Well, the person I like is real, but unrealistic at the same time.

He's an actor, but a human who actually exsists lol

I like him because he cares about what's going on in the world. He wants the world to be a better place. He likes taking pictures, and traveling and he cares about his family.
I don't know what drew me to him, but he pulled me out of a deep stoop in my life and made me want to be a better person.

Day 5- 5 things that irritate me about the opposite sex...

Hmmm...What irritates me about the opposite sex? Same sex...


Guys:
some seem arrogant/pig headed sometimes
some make rude comments
guys who think they can pick up and leave their families and come back when they feel like it.

i know thats only 3 but I can't think of any right now.




girls:

the only kinds of girls that irritate me are:

Girls that choose men/drugs/partying over their kids and other responsiblities.

Day 4- What I wear to bed

What do I wear to bed?

I wear, a tank top, or t-shirt, with pants (pj pants),

obviously my underwear and

maybe the only person who sleeps with my bra on lol.

Day 3- What kind of person attracks you

What kind of person attracks me? Let's see....

Someone who is funny.

Someone who isn't overly dramatic or depressing.

I like someone who cares about other people and what they think.

Someone who isn't judgemental or prejudiced.

Someone who is openminded.

Someone trustworthy and respectful.

Day 2- how have I changed in 2 years

How have I changed in 2 years?





I've come a long way, I think.

I'm much more patient with Ari.

I am not as depressed as I was before. I was always stressed and didnt much care about my looks or heigene.
Now I try to watch what I eat... eating a bit more healthy and exercising. I shower more often now lol. Sounds horrible I know.

I have to blame a my depression partially or mostly on Paris. After she died a lot of my life didn't make sence.

2 years later (2 years ago) I watched New Moon, and found the actor Chaske. Somehow this person who I've never met, pulled me out of this depression.... sort of. It took time, but eventually things changed and I wanted to be a better person, for me, for Ari and for anyone around me.

Now I am someone who is most of the time cheerful and clean and smells good, and I like taking my daugther places. (not that I didn't before, but before I'd much rather stay in then take Ari out somewhere)

Day 1- Weird things you do when alone...

Weird things I do when I'm alone are....

Talking in weird voices/accents to myself or the pets.

Making weird noises.

I can't really think of too many weird things I do alone that I don't do in front of people.


Oh here's one lol... sometimes, if I'm in the bathroom, I'll look in the mirror and make funny faces at myself.

30 Day Challenge

Sept 6, 2012

Up at 7am again.
We got ready for school, ate breakfast together (peanut butter captain crunch) and got dressed. I did my hair and then Ari's hair.
We headed out at 7:50ish. I dropped her off at her class and left.

Got home to get ready for work.
Around 8:45 I let the kittens out of the garage. (later I would learn the was a big tragic mistake)
Mom dropped me off at work.

Got a call just after 2 that our poor little Thomas was dead. What in God's name happened!!?? What kind of sick joke was this? He was perfectly healthy. We'd lost Foofy just 3 weeks ago, Ozzie 2 days ago and now Thomas, a young 6 week old kitten. Mom was so upset on the phone. He'd gotten behind the washer and wanted to play with a cord. I never realized how much Foofy had chewed on the cords of both the washer and dryer. Poor Thomas was electicuted and mom found him with his tooth still stuck to the cord of the washer.
I was horrified and didn't know what to say. I was so sad, but also felt so bad for mom. Thomas was going to be her baby. She'd just started getting attached and loved him, saying hello and playing with him whenever she came over.
I was on lunch when I found out. I couldn't finish my burrito. I felt sick to my stomach and fell apart in the bathroom. I had to go back to work though.
I couldn't think of anything else but Thomas the rest of the 2 1/2 to 3 hours.

Once I was finally off work, mom and Ari took me to the laundry room where Thomas was laying, wrapped in a towel. He was laying down, his mouth wide open. Foam was in his mouth, and his tongue and teeth were burnt black. His eyes were barely opened. I hoped maybe he was just paralyzed or stunned for a few hours. But he was gone.

Darcie came to visit shortly after I got home. I'm glad she did. She (and Riah and Bubba) took mine and Ari's minds of little Thomas.
But once they left, it all came flooding back with the sadness and lonely feeling I've been having the past few days.
I went and got a shovel from Lindsey and Keith's and dug a hole in the dusky evening.
I wish we would have waited until day light, so we could see. Ari didn't say words like she did for Foofy and Ozzie. I think since Lindsey was there she was embarrassed.

We buried him right by Foofy under our wishing well. I will post a picture sometime of their resting spot.

I started dinner late at about 8:30 (Mac and cheese with bacon bits) We ate then Ari had a snack and I got her to bed. She told me about her day.
She told me that her 'friend' Maddie, who she'd named a baby doll after and who she'd hoped all summer would be in her class told her they weren't friends, they just talked to eachother.
I felt so bad for her. I told her she could still be friends with Maddie, that she just had to keep talking to her.
Ari told me that she learned about bugs today. She learned about desert bugs.

Yesterday (the 5th) while we were eating dinner at the table I asked Ari if she learned anything. She nodded and said yes. I asked her what she learned and she shrugged and said she didn't remember. I laughed at her then asked her what was her favorite thing that she learned. She said they made bears, and hers was a peace bear. She likes peace signs!

Sept 5, 2012

Sept 5 2012


Up at 7 again. I hate it at first. I don't want to get up. I want to shut off the alam and go back to sleep!
Its warm when we go to bed, but chilly in the morning!

I went in and woke up Ari.

We went and ate some breakfast together. It's nice to sit there and eat together.
She got dressed while I did my hair. Then I did her hair. I just put a cloth head back in her hair. It matched her green kitty shirt.
I was only able to buy her a couple shirts and 2 pairs of jeans. After this darn trip I'm gunna get her some more clothes... I hope she gets more for her birthday though!

We left for school at 7:45 and got there a tiny bit early. I went with her to look at Spike the dragon before hugging her and leaving.
I felt sad again leaving her, not sure why.

I went home and dinked around a little bit before going back to sleep for a little bit. I was more tired then yesterday.
I slept until about 11:30 then got up to clean up a little bit. I didn't do much but organize the computer desk. I made lunch. I let Kiara and her kittens into the house (from the garage) and cleaned up their mess, fed and watered them. Put the dogs out and waited around for 2:30.
Ari had more fun today then yesterday.
She said she didn't each the nachos for lunch today, but had a yogurt instead, then wished she'd gotten the nachos. I told her we could have nachos for dinner, and she agreed.
I spent some time working on her birthday decorations before we headed to the store.
It was 87 degrees when we left. 89 on the way back!
We got some stuff for nachos (forgot olives and lettuce!) I got a coffee for tomorrow morning. I'll be up to get Ari off to school, then come back get ready and go to work at 9... wonder how my head will like that... not being able to go back to sleep. I'm sure I'll be just fine lol.

We had nachos for dinner. Ari watched Angry Birds or something like it on youtube while I continued work on her birthday decorations.
We had some chips and a pop tart each for dessert... and writing this I just remembered we bought ice cream for snack!
I put Ari to bed at 9. She fell asleep quick.

1st grade starts

Sept 4th, 2012-

Ari started the first grade!
We had to be up at 7. We ate breakfast together and got dressed, did our hair and headed out at 7:40. We walked through the school and out a side door to a modular where Ari's class is. Mrs. Cremer (Kraemer) is her teacher's name. It's a cute little class room.
Ari was excited to see that she had a kindergarten classmate named Maddie in with her, who'd she'd been hoping was in her class all summer. There were a couple other kids that were in her kindergarten class.
We found her seat at a round table with a couple other kids (Maddie being one of them)
We looked around the room a little.
Right next to Ari's table is the class mascot, a bearded dragon (Ari found out his name is Spike)
I left Ari, feeling kind of sad leaving her. She did seem a little nervous but didn't ask me to stay with her or cry. I was the one who felt like crying! Maybe it was the time of month or just that our summer time is gone and now she's a full time student now. I walked home feeling a little cruddy. I felt better after I got home.
I got online and posted a picture of Ari from earlier.

I was going to go back to bed as soon as I got home but I felt awake (even though I hadn't been able to fall asleep until close to 1:45 the night before---- went to bed at 11:45) Today marked 6 years since Steve Irwin died and they had a marathon on Animal Planet of The Crocodile Hunter, so I watched that a bit. I really miss that show! It's much more entertaining and educational then some of the other shows they have on! I took Ozzie out of her tank and took her outside. She'd been sluggish for a while, and just yesterday I'd noticed her heat pad wasn't plugged in correctly, so I took her outside in the morning sun to soak in some rays. I plugged in a black light for heat and laid her on the heat pad
and I went back to bed while watching The Crocodile Hunter.
            I woke up around noon. Watching Steve made me want to fix up my reptiles tanks, clean them up (not that messy lol) but just got me in the mood. I cleaned up Cesar's tank, put in her new heated rock. Then moved over to Ozzie. I was getting Ari's turtle sandbox set up in the backyard to let her bask.
Anyways, after setting up the turtle thing, I went inside to grab Ozzie. She had moved so I thought maybe she got too warm on the pad that was now on. I grabbed her and instantly knew she felt wrong. I practically dropped her back down and she ended up on her back. She was dead. Or so I thought. Her mouth was partially open and there were some of the sandy like crushed walnut shells stuck to her tongue. I went and grabbed a syringe that the vet we took Foofy to gave us. I filled it with water to wash out her mouth.
I realized she was slowly dying. I
The "funny" thing is, just yesterday I posted her on craigslist so I could find someone to take her. Mom said she must know we were trying to rehome her.
I felt absolutely horrible. Ari just started school. She loves this "dragon lizard" (as she calls it) and she has a bearded dragon in her class. I thought for sure she'd just be so upset. I left Ozzie alone after taking her outside, then back in to put her in her cage. There was nothing for me to do for her now.
       She died a while later and I debated on whether or not to wait until Ari got home or not to bury her.
I decided to wait.
I left to go get Ari at 2:20.
She said "This was such a long day!"
I completely forgot that Nevaeh is in kindergarten now! Wow!
We walked home, and asked Ari how her day went.
She had chicken nuggets for lunch and two pieces of broccoli and an apple with chocolate milk. She didn't eat the broccoli she said, but at least she picked them out! lol
I asked her about the bearded dragon. She said his name is Spike and he's a boy. She didn't mention Ozzie at first but then when she did I said "Remember how Ozzie was sick?" she said "Yeah. What happened to her?"
I looked at her "Something bad."
"What?"
I looked at her again. And she guessed that she'd died.
Here we go. I thought she'd start crying. she almost did, but I told her, we weren't going to get another bearded dragon for a long while, until we could afford all the special things they need all the time, but we could get another leopard gecko that could be just for her. She didn't say much about that.
She asked if I'd buried her already and I said "No, I wanted to wait for you to be there."
She smiled at that.
She wasn't as upset as I thought she'd be. That's a relief. Although I'm sad that Ozzie is gone.
When we got home, we had a snack. Then we went out next to Foofy's resting spot and dug a hole. Ari wanted to bring Ozzie out so I let her. I wanted to check for sure that she was dead. It was hard to tell but once I put her in the hole and some dirt fell on her, I picked her back up, the dust on her eyes would have made her blink. She looked like one of those fake animals that was sitting on a shelf too long with dust covering her, so I knew she was gone.
She was buried now and Ari picked a marigold for her. She wanted to put some dead crickets and mealworms in her hole, but I said how about we put in some collard greens instead and save the crickets and meal worms for Cesar. She agreed but we forgot :(.

Later that day I cleaned up all of Ozzie's things and put them back so we could put Cesar in the bigger tank. I dunno if that was too soon... but we did it.


Ari took a bath, we had BBQ chicken with rice, spinach (for me) green beans for her, and some bite size baked yummy potatoes.