I haven't blogged since we moved.
We had to move as the duplex we were living in was sold and the new owner wanted to renovate.
When he did his walk through of the place, I was excited as he named off all the things that he wanted to change. I was thinking, I'd be the tenant still, getting new counters, redone bathroom, etc...
I'd fenced in the yard for Ari and the dogs. I pulled out the ugly carpet in the kitchen and put in a nice vinyl floor. Ari's room was personalized to her liking, painted Indian Paintbrush orange.
November 6th I got a notice that our tenancy was being terminated as of January 8th 2014 at midnight.
I didn't worry about it for about an hour. I thought, "They can't do that. They won't do that. They were nice people. They have kids too. I'm on housing, they can't do that."
Boy was I wrong. 1. They could do that. 2 They would do that. 3. They don't care.
I've been bitter all year long about it. I was so happy there. I loved the area, the fact that I could treat this place as my own. We had it good. Ari had a swing set, trampoline, sand box a yard to play in. We had a garage. A fenced yard. Our dogs, our cats could be out whenever. We lived close to the park, the pool. Deer came to our yard. We saw skunks, raccoons, opossums. There was plenty of room. I had Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house.
I had 60 days to find a 2 bedroom place, preferably a duplex or house. (After moving out of our apartment I vowed never to move back to an apartment. I was moving forward) I wanted a yard, garage. Everything we had now but for the price of $550. Are you kidding me. Craigslist brought up NOTHING for me. Showing me Salem properties, or places over my rental allowance. Oh yeah, and Section 8 had to be allowed (As well as pets) Impossible. I wasted over a month thinking that $550 was my allowance for rent. I found out as I was walking home from dropping Ari off at school that I could actually be looking for a place that was $705.
That brought me so much relief. Mom kept telling me to move back into the apartment we'd moved from. NO WAY. That is not happening. I felt like crying at the thought of having to move back there.
I made a list, several times on what things we'd have to part with. Even going as far as trying to decide on finding a home for one of my dogs and 2 or 3 of my cats. It was heartwrenching.
I was having no luck. An as time kept on going by, the holidays coming and going I was running out of time. I put in an application for an apartment at Silverton Manor apartments. I wasn't going back there, but just in case.
I started searching for homes to buy. I thought, I could do it. Apply for a low income home loan. I was excited at that thought. I applied here and there. I was told, I don't make enough. I took it as, I don't work enough. I fell apart again. I started hating Julian, Ari's dad. He wasn't even there. Here I was needing to work my butt off for a low income, and miss out on so much, but still be told I'm not working enough.
I was told a down payment would help, so when taxes came in, I'd save 5 to $6,000 of that. And in 2015, I'd save another 5,000 to $6,000 and have somewhere around 12,000 for a down payment.
In December, an apartment came open. I'd take it, but keep looking while I still had time.
I found the number for the man who had bought our home and wanted to spill my guts on everything. I only explained how hard it was for me to find a place and with the holidays coming, I had no money to find a place to live, let alone buy my child some gifts. He text be back saying 'He couldn't allow us to stay the extra 2 months I asked for (until we had some money to move)
I was furious. I hated him. I'd hoped his family would have to go through the same thing. I hoped that when we came in to fix these duplexes that it'd cost him so much money and time, that he'd regret buying them at all.
I received a text message from our former landlord's wife, and she said we could have an extra few days (through the weekend) but that we had to be out by the 13th.
The 10th (a Friday) came and Housing had yet to do their inspection on my apartment. I was at work when I found a voicemail on my phone from Housing saying the inspection was done and it passed, but the apartment office was closed. I got the apartment manager's number from Dawn at work to call her. I apologized several times for calling her personal phone but I really needed the keys.
There were some things that still needed to be packed up, and I had to work.
Sunday came and I was at work. People were at my house loading up the U-Haul I'd rented. I still had no keys to my apartment.
I'd had to tell my brother and Kimber a day or two ago that we would need to stay at their house (it was offered back in November when we got the notice.) But at the time, I wasn't going to do that. I was going to have a place for my little family to live.
So many people were there helping. I can't ask for help. I hate having to ask for help. I wait until the very last minute to even ask, that's how much I hate it. I don't like inconveniencing people, or putting them out in the least bit. I ordered pizza and soda for my helpers. I felt horrible for not being able to pay them. I had my mom, aunt Sandy, Roy, Shane, Austin, (Ethan too I think). Ryan McGraw, Bill Cecrle, later Brynie came, along with Stephanie Tyler and Kimber, and Keith and Lindsey.
I lost my camera in the shuffle, so I couldn't take pictures of anything (Yes I wanted to) Everyone left and I still had stuff to do. The U-Haul (a big one) was completely stuffed full. I had my fish and gecko in mom's van. I had stuff in my truck, I had stuff in Stephanie's car. I had to still load up my plants. I wanted to rip out the fence I'd put in. Tyler helped me rip out the front half. I snipped each of the wire ties the held the fence to the T-posts. Anything to make it inconvenient for this person who had turned our life upside down. Today I sold my washer and dryer for $100 and gave away Ari's swingset.
I had no place to take our belongings. I had to leave the U-Haul parked. I went through the house one more time, making sure we had everything. Turned out the lights, turned off the gas. and wanted to just ball my eyes out as I walked through our empty home. I couldn't. A couple tears escaped, but I had Stephanie as my ride up to Tyler's house and I couldn't show any emotion like that.
Ari, me, the dogs and cats would stay at Tyler and Kimber's an because of the last minute need to stay in their spare room, they hadn't had enough time to clean it up, which caused them some frustration. (My dislike for asking for help caused me to wait last minute, causing more frustration on their end!) I would have left all of the garbages up at the house, filled to the brim, but they'd called to make sure we put them out by the curb for garbage day or we'd get a bill for a lot of money.
We unloaded, the plants, dog house, wishing well and my other outside stuff in Tyler and Kimber's front yard. A lot of the stuff that was in the garage (Holiday stuff that wasn't needed right now was put into their basement)
I still couldn't believe this was happening. How could this happen?
Standing on Ty's newly built back porch (still feeling nervous about it collapsing lol) Ty was out there with me talking to me, and telling me everything would be just fine. It didn't feel like it. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. My eyes flooded over. We were homeless. For a night.
I had to be to work at 8am the next morning. I didn't think I'd be able to sleep. Ari and I slept in the full size bed, the dogs on the side. Simba in a kennel, Sage and Kiara in another and Jade in another. I had to put her on the back porch cause she wouldn't stop meowing. I kept thinking, the faster I go to sleep the faster this day will be over. Tomorrow was Monday. I should get the keys.
Stephanie showed up at about 7:45 to give me a ride to work and drop Ari off at school.
Somewhere familiar made it easier. I think I got off work around 12ish. I can't remember. I just remember mom called me to find out where the key to the U-Haul was and I thought I'd left it at Ty's on the table, but it was with me. Mom had picked up the keys for me at the apartment that has been waiting for us since mid December. This was a "perfect" apartment for us, because we still had 2 dogs and 4 cats. The dogs were home free, but our cats would spend their day time in this room, and road free in the late afternoon and on weekends. I felt better today. I knew all my surrounding neighbors from when we lived here previously. Ari knew most of the kids and played while, me, mom, Shane and Austin helped unload the U-Haul. I still couldn't find my camera, and I wanted to show how COMPLETELY stuffed full the living room of this little apartment was. It was filled with boxes. I was going to start box by box, but each box I started with I didn't know what to do with the stuff. It took I think over a week to get everything unpacked.
I was so completely stiff and sore, that walking Ari to school the first morning was HARD. Thank goodness the bus came down this way.
It's now November 4th, 2014. This year has gone by pretty quick, as people said it would. But each time I think of how life was, and how it was turned upside down, I get so bitter. I did end up talking to the wife of the man who bought the duplex. In March, they were still working on fixing everything. Water damage, bad pipes, bad siding, mold etc... the neighbor, who'd had dogs that I'd never seen in the 2 yrs we lived there, never went outside, She said they found where she put the poop. She'd sweep it under the stove. She left old food in the cupboards and so much more. (when we were packing up our U-Haul, she was not even near done. She was only on her garage, sifting through her hoard. She had one person helping, but she wouldn't even let him in the house it was so bad. I did feel bad for her though.
When the guy came into the store I work at, and I checked him and his boys out, the bitterness came back when he asked how I was doing (he didn't remember me).
The last month or 2, I've felt so down about everything. About buying a home. Not able to do it alone. Not making enough, Bitter with my job, my life and inability to do anything alone pretty much. That $5,000+ I was supposed to have for a down payment as dwindled down to just under $1,000. I was going to apply for another loan, but didn't send in printed application figuring I'd just get another notice telling me I don't have proof of the ability to repay, or for the very low income loan, that I'm too low income.
I don't invite people over. It's small and cramped and it doesn't feel welcoming. I get embarrassed when people do come over.
So, when we move (we can move at the end of January) but I think we'll wait until Feb. Or March. Of course, keeping my eyes open for anything that will fit our needs and when I have the money to move again.
It will have to be a rental. Hopefully, a landlord who will let us treat the home as our own. Possible a private, rent till you own home. Maybe something we won't have to need housing on. A 2-3 bedroom home. Outside of town with a nice yard. A garage. A place where we can have a garden, a swing set, our trampoline (Which we did keep) A place for Ari to play outside, and the dogs can run. The cats can be outside, losing the weight they've put on. I can dream.
